


As long as you're happy, Makoto

by TheMonster



Category: Free!
Genre: AU, Drama, Fem!Makoto, Gen, Growing Up, Multi, pretending to be a boy, slice of life-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1192044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMonster/pseuds/TheMonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto is a girl that recently moved to the small town of Iwatobi. In a fit of anger she cuts her hair and is mistaken for a boy in her new class. However that does not bother her at all and she keeps pretending years after that. But can she keep it a secret for the rest of her life, especially if her passion is swimming?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bad summary I know, but this idea kept me awake for a whole night and I had to write it. This first chapter is some of it I've written so far and I wanted to know if there is any interest for the story, so I know if I should continue writing. I have it all planned out but not that much written. Therefore, comments are appreciated and also kudos :)

They had been living in their new house for about three days, when Makoto got mad at her mom. The reason for her anger was forgotten soon enough, but the result of it would alter her life. Thinking back about it Makoto vaguely remember that something was lost in the move, something she didn’t really like but still got upset about losing.

She remembers that she screamed at her mom and locked herself in the bathroom, leaning against the door. Everything from the shelves to the sink to the bathtub was so unfamiliar from her old bathroom that she started tearing up. It was unfair. It wasn’t like she left behind any friends in the old town, but she had been forced to leave the home she had spent her short life of eight years.

Her mom knocked on the door and gently called for her, but Makoto refused to listen and instead walked away from the door, not wanting see her mother’s sad face and apologetic smile. She found herself in front of the mirror, a rectangular shaped mirror on the middle of the wall. Her face was red and her long strands of hair had stuck to the fresh tear streaks on her cheeks.

Makoto hadn’t meant to do it. It was as if something had forced her. One moment she was looking into her own eyes, the next she turned around and rummaged through on of the boxes on the floor, filled with a strong urge. She found the scissors almost immediately and brought it without hesitations to a long strand of hair and snippet it off. Her hand found another lock of hair and then another, which she all snippet off with the scissors.

As she let the last lock of hair fall down to the floor, she looked up to the mirror again. Her hair was very unevenly cut, not to mention short. Suddenly realising what she had done, Makoto dropped the scissors in the sink. She remembers the fear she felt when she thought how her mom would react. Makoto glanced at the floor, filled with locks of her brunette hair.

A thought of jumping out the window and hide was quickly dismissed. Her mom would find out either way. With a shaky breath she walked to the door and unlocked it, before opening it up and revealing herself.

"I’m sorry." She mumbled and suddenly felt fresh tears escaping her eyes. However, instead of being yelled at, she was embraced into a hug. She felt her mother’s hands caressing her short hair and she too mumbled that she was sorry. For what, Makoto didn’t understand.

Later the same day when her dad had gotten home and seen her hair, he had been shocked. Then after a small talk with her mom he had put on a careful smile that made Makoto felt guilty. He had taken a step forward and gently ruffled her hair.

"It suits you, Makoto." He had said.

* * *

 

The next day it was Monday and it would be Makoto’s first day in the new school. She felt a bit insecure about her hair, but her mother had kindly trimmed it for her so it didn’t look as bad as it did. The elementary school she was attending had no school uniforms and seeing as it was in the middle of autumn she dressed in a big green hoodie with a pair of jeans.

It was quite windy outside and Makoto held onto her father’s hand as they walked to the school. It didn’t take more than ten minutes to reach the main gate and the schoolyard was filled with kids, some running around, some playing soccer and some other just talking to one another. Makoto realised that most of the other kids that would be in her class would have known each other for at least a year. They walked through the entrance door and her dad led her to a room that was her new classroom. A small sense of panic filled her as she felt her dad let go of her hand. She looked up at him with wide eyes, begging him not to leave her alone.

"Don’t worry Makoto. I’ll come pick you up the minute school ends, but right now I need to go to work." He said and smiled at her. When she didn’t reply he sat down on his knees and gave her a small kiss on the top of her head. "You’ll be fine." He promised and stood up. She gave a small nod and a careful smile while her dad walked away while waving.

As if on cue, a bell rang loudly and echoed in the empty corridors. Voices where heard followed by quick steps, and Makoto silently slinked in the classroom and sat down on a chair while secretly hoping she hadn’t taken anyone’s place. Not sooner than she had taken a seat did students barge in through the door, laughing and yelling. All of them took sat down on the chairs, and it seemed that nobody noticed Makoto.

She let out a sigh of relief where she sat, when she suddenly felt something poking at her. She turned her head and saw a raven-haired boy with blue eyes. He stared at her with a puzzled look but didn’t make any move suggesting that he would speak.

"Hello, I’m Tachibana Makoto. This is my first day here." She said and gave a tentative smile. The boy just continued to stare at her and Makoto felt a bit uncomfortable. "Um, what’s your name?" she decided to ask while glancing around the classroom. So far nobody else seemed to have seen her, except for this boy.

"Nanase Haruka." He answered shortly. She was surprised that his name sounded so girly, but she didn’t get the chance to ask about it as Haruka broke eye contact with her to look at the door. Curious, Makoto also turned around and saw an older woman with a kind smile walk in the classroom. As soon as the other students saw her they went quiet.

"Good morning class." she greeted them and took a seat in the front. "Today, we have a new student joining us." She continued and looked down at some papers on her desk. At her statement all eyes moved to Makoto as if they just noticed her.

"Please welcome Tachibana Makoto-chan" The teacher said. However, before she could continue, Haruka, the boy sitting next to Makoto raised his hand. "Yes, Haruka-kun?" she gently said with a smile.

"Sensei, Makoto is a boy with a girly name like me, so please drop the ‘chan’." He stated calmly. Makoto looked at the boy with wide eyes, which seemed to go unnoticed by the rest of the class and also Haruka. Was he messing with the teacher? Or had he really mistaken her for a boy?

"Ah, sorry Makoto-kun, my mistake." She said with a flustered look on her face. Makoto however wasn’t sure what to say. The whole class is looking at her now, and she nervously scratches behind her ear. Not wanting to bring any unnecessary attention to herself she puts on a smile and releases a hesitant chuckle.

"D-don’t worry sensei, i-it happens sometimes." Well, it had never happened to Makoto before. She glanced at Haruka, but he showed no signs of emotions on his face.

At the end of the day, when Makoto was picked up by her dad as promised, he asked her about her day. She told him about her teacher and that she was really nice. She told him about the boy, Haruka who was the first one to talk to her. She told him about how the boys in her class had played soccer during recess and had asked her to join in, all while sporting one of the biggest smiles her dad had ever seen on his daughter.

"So you’ve made friends already? That’s great Makoto." He didn’t question the fact that she didn’t mention any of the girls; after all it didn’t matter who she hung out as long as she was happy.

The moment she stepped inside the house she made her way to her room and stopped in front of the mirror. She stood in front of it for minutes, turning around in different angles and studied herself. With her now short hair she did look like a boy and the hoodie she wore didn't help to say otherwhise. Though oddly enough, she realised that it didn't bother her. Not as much as it should have at least.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the second chapter, was nervous about posting this since I haven't gotten far on the third one and will probably not be able to update until after next week or something because of homeworks, presentations, my birthday etc.

A month passed. Every day in school she would hang out with Haruka and she soon learned that he lived near her, so they often spent time after school too. He still thought she was a boy and Makoto let him believe that. However, she hadn't told her parents either, so it was quite a shock when they read the letter that Makoto got from her teacher.

"Eh? It has to be a mistake." her mother said with a frown after reading the letter. Curious, her father peeked over her shoulder and read it too, a similar frown on his face too.

" 'Dear Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana. Makoto seems to have been settling in well with his new classmates and have no trouble with keeping up his studies. The reason for this letter is to give you an opportunity to book a meeting at the end of next month in case you or Makoto have any questions.' “her father read-aloud. "'His'?" he repeated. He turned to his daughter.

"Makoto?" Makoto suddenly turned bright red and settled with looking down at the floor. She hadn't even thought about her parents ever finding out. Now both of her parents looked at her with eyes filled with questions, and Makoto suddenly felt very stupid. They were probably mad at her and she felt a pang of guilt inside her. Had she embarrassed them?

"Makoto? Do you know what this is about?" her mother asked her again since she hadn't answered the first time.

Should she lie? Probably not, she had never lied to her parents; she had only not told them about things. But now they knew something was up and there was no point in trying to avoid it.

"Well..." she didn't dare to meet their eyes and continued to stare at the floor like it was made of gold or something. "Everyone thinks I'm a boy." there was silence from both her mother and father, so she took it as a cue to keep going.

"The first day, when the teacher called my name, Haruka said to sensei that I was a boy with a girly name, like him. And I didn't really mind it." she confessed. They were still silent and she felt her eyes burning and realized she was crying.

Makoto saw something in the blurry corner of her eye and before she could blink she was in the arms of her mom who hushed at her.

"Sch, it's okay Makoto. We're not mad at you." she heard her dad say and felt his hand pat her on the head. She didn't know when she started sobbing, only that she couldn't stop it. It took a few minutes before she calmed down and when she did her mother still held her for a while. Makoto opened her eyes to see her mom and dad both kneeling down in front of her.

"Makoto, do you want me to call your teacher and explain to her?" her father asked her. Before she could think she found herself shaking her head frantically.

"Are you really sure, Makoto?" he asked her again and this time she nodded.

"I don't mind being a boy. I like being a boy." she said with a hesitant smile. It was true though, she had never had many friends and the few she had had was boys, who still wouldn't want to hang out with her too much. Now that she had been a boy for a short time, she had more friends than she could have ever imagined.

Her eyes shifted back and forth between her parents and she was met with smiles from both of them. Her mom's looked a bit sadder than her dad's, and Makoto quickly put her arms around her mother and her dad joined in.

"As long as you're happy, Makoto." she said softly to her.

* * *

 

A month later Makoto started swimming with Haruka. It was something her parents had first opposed to, seeing as she refused to put on a bathing suit. Though they had agreed to let her act and dress like a boy, they were understandably worried about sending her away in just bathing shorts. Makoto herself argued that no one would notice that she was a girl anyway, she was still too young and had no breasts and would probably not get any until years later. After a long and tiresome discussion, they reluctantly agreed to let her have her bathing shorts, under the condition that as soon as she hit puberty she had to quit swimming. Of course she didn't think twice about it and agreed to it happily.

She had swum before in her old school and she was quite good at it, especially backstroke. Haruka though, was an amazing swimmer. Her own skill faded significantly in comparison to him, but she didn't mind because she enjoyed swimming with him, and Haruka simply enjoyed swimming.

Three years after Makoto had begun in her new class and started to swim again, they got a new student in class named Matsouka Rin. It didn't take long until they found out he was a swimmer too and naturally he joined the swim club they attended. There they met Nagisa Hazuki, a boy who was a year younger than them. Both Nagisa and Rin’s cheerful attitudes brought out Makoto’s good mood and sometimes even Haruka’s.  They were all good on their individual swimming styles, but together they were practically unbeatable. Which is why, six months later, Makoto didn't find it strange that Rin asked them to swim together in the upcoming relay. However, Haruka questioned it.

"Why all of a sudden do you want to swim in the relay?" Haruka asked Rin with a frown on his face. The question had never been brought up before and it was soon too late to sign up for the competition. Rin smiled at both Haruka and Makoto.

"Why not? I thought it could be fun." he said to Haruka. It didn't seem to persuade Haruka, who kept quiet.

"Come on Haru," Makoto said and took a step towards him "no harm in trying. We don't have to win, we're doing it for fun." she finished and gave him a small smile when he turned towards her.

"Still, tomorrow is the last day to register. Why didn't you say something sooner?" Haruka continued and faced Rin, who looked sad all of a sudden.

"Actually, I'm moving to Australia a few days after the competition. To become a better swimmer." he said to them and looked to the ground. To say that both of them were shocked was an understatement. Makoto briefly remembered that Rin had mentioned his wish to be an Olympic swimmer. So that was what it was all about.

"I wanted to swim one last time with all of you, before I leave." Rin finished and looked up again with a hopeful smile. Makoto returned it and nodded at him, sad that he would leave but glad that he thought of them as important. Haruka did not answer the smile, but he did give a small nod in approval.

"All right, let's all swim together one last time." Haruka said as the bell signaled for them to go in. Later that day Rin approached Nagisa and asked him to join too and the younger boy looked like he had just won the lottery. Makoto herself had been very excited about it and had told her parents as soon as she got home. At the same time she was sad because Rin was leaving and just as any other friend she knew she was going to miss him. Haruka would never admit it, but she was sure that he would miss him too.

* * *

 

The race had been a success and all of them except Haruka had sported big smiles that day. Unfortunately, most good things comes to an end and even though they had known it, saying goodbye to Rin had been hard for all of them, especially Rin himself had a hard time covering up his sad expression. Nevertheless, they all agreed to keep in touch with him and he left with the promise that they would see each other again.

Some months later Makoto lost contact with Rin and so did Haruka too. About the same time the swim club announced that they would be closing the halls, which meant that Makoto, Haruka and Nagisa had to quit swimming. Some parents, including Makoto's had protested, but it seemed that the plans were impossible to change.

Of course the three of them felt down when they heard the news, but on one hand Makoto was secretly grateful. As it turned out, puberty hit her and she realized that her parents would have taken her out from the club anyway.

It begun with a growth spurt that lasted for a long time and left her towering over Haruka by the time it started to slow down. Next, the part she was most afraid of was her breasts growing but the worry seemed to have been unnecessary, because they didn't grow as big as expected. They were small enough to hide under a baggy t-shirt and if she ever needed to she learned that she could tape them. The last part, that was the scariest of them all, was her first period.

Luckily, she had been home that day when she had felt the pain. Unfortunately, she was all alone in the house save for Haruka, who played video games with her. Of course he had been worried about her when she suddenly rolled up from the pain.

"Makoto, what's wrong?" Haruka asked her with more expression than usual and immediately dropped his controller to check up on her. Despite the throbbing pain in her abdomen, she managed to give him a small yet forced smile.

"It's okay Haru, it doesn't hurt that much." she said and tried to look unaffected. However, Haruka was not buying it and reached out his hand to touch her forehead. "I don't have a fever Haru, I think I might just have eaten something bad." she explained to him carefully, and he reluctantly removed his hand. Another surge of pain hit her and she let out an involuntarily gasp. After a brief moment of silence she let out a quiet plead, "Could you please call my mom?"

Nodding, Haruka went out to the hall and quickly dialed the number to Mrs. Tachibana's cell, who immediately agreed to come home upon hearing about her 'son'.

After Haruka had put down the phone he went back to Makoto and sat beside her with a comforting arm around her, even though the hold became awkward because of the angle and stayed with her until Mrs. Tachibana stood in the doorway and gently ushered him outside and asked him to come back tomorrow instead with an apologetic smile.

Haruka did not want to make Mrs. Tachibana upset and unwillingly left Makoto, who gave him a painful smile and waved at him. The next day when they came to school, Makoto lied to him and told him the same thing as she had the day before, that she had eaten something bad. Thankfully, Haruka seemed to accept that as an answer and gave a curt nod. Though if he believed it or not, Makoto wasn't sure, but she doubted that he would draw the conclusion that she was a girl just because of that.

Over the years she had learned how to best disguise her female body so that even she sometimes was convinced that she really wasn't a girl. Still, her mom would still occasionally come home with dresses and skirts. The first time she did Makoto had nearly thrown a fit over it, but as time passed and new clothes were still added to her wardrobe the conversation was practically always the same.

"Makoto, I went shopping and found this pretty dress." her mom says and held out a green garment that shifted from lighter to darker. Her face looked expectant, like she wanted Makoto to throw herself over it and claim it as hers. That was what hurt Makoto the most, because her mom had herself been one of them who had decided to support her decision. Instead of looking at the dress she looked up to her mom's eyes and let out a sigh.

"Mom, how many times have we been over this? I don't want any dresses. I'll probably never even wear them." she said and flipped a page in the book in front of her, just so she would have an excuse to look away from her mother's sad eyes.

"Oh," her mother said in a defeated voice "well, I guess Ran might be able to grow in them one day. So in the meantime, I'll put it in your closet." she finished and opened the closet door before laying it down on the shelf in the back, were all of the other dresses and skirts lay tucked away beneath a blanket. Makoto's younger siblings Ren and Ran were barely seven years old, but that was still the excuse her mother would come with. Secretly she must've hoped that Makoto would one day tell everyone about her secret, but it would be difficult now, especially since she had sticked to it since she was eight. Now she was 16 and tomorrow she would begin her second year of high school.

She continued to flip through the book, not reading it at all and just hoped that her mother would leave her alone. Eventually she did and Makoto closed the book with a sigh and glanced towards her clock. It was late enough so she could be excused to bed and that was exactly what she did.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it took a while, like I said school's been busy lately. Anyway, here is a new chapter of the story! Any errors are mine or Microsoft Words :)

The first day of school had been as usual. This year both she and Haruka had ended up in the same class, but the other one was nowhere to be seen. Makoto slightly wondered why, because Haruka rarely skipped, but since it was only the first day she supposed that his absence were of no importance. There had been a brief ceremony where they had welcomed the pupils to yet another exciting year. Shortly afterwards they were ordered to go to their respectively classrooms and meet their teacher. In this case Makoto's class had a new teacher, a young woman named Miho Amakata who greeted all of them with a smile.

"Hello students and welcome back to school. Since I'm new here I might as well introduce myself. My name is Miho Amakata and I am your classic literature teacher and also your homeroom teacher. I hope that we'll all get along nicely." she said and bowed to them. Throughout the classroom she got noises of approval and Makoto heard from some boys behind her that they recognized her from somewhere, but she didn't get time to dwell on it for too long since it was time for a roll-call. One by one the other students answered when their names came up and as expected when she came to Makoto's name she let out a 'chan' at the end.

"Excuse me sensei, but I am a boy." Makoto had raised her hand and said. Amakata became flustered over her 'mistake' but quickly saved the situation.

"I'm terribly sorry Makoto-kun." she said and quickly scribbled something on her paper. After she was done with most of it she stopped at one of the names on the list. "It says that Nanase Haruka-chan hasn't reported herself to the gathering today, does anybody know where she is?" she continued and Makoto raised her hand yet again.

"He is probably home sick today, sensei." she stated and made emphasize on the 'He' part and saw as Amakata blushed and cursed to herself, before scribbling on the paper yet again.

The rest of the day went by uneventful and Haruka didn't show up at all. When Makoto walked home she wondered if she should visit him, to check up on him, but decided against it. She would see him first thing in the morning anyway.

* * *

“Haru-chan!” she yelled at him when she entered the bathroom and saw that he lay in the tub with his swimming trunks on. Not for the first time, ever since she almost walked in on him while he was naked she had convinced him to wear shorts. He had given her a strange look but regardless he had agreed to it. Haruka loved water and if Makoto hadn’t known him for so long she would be convinced that he was some kind of sea-creature, like a dolphin or a merman. Then again, who said he wasn’t? He had known her just as long and he still didn’t know about her secret. She turned around to the shelf and dragged out a fresh towel and held it out for him. Haruka opened his eyes slightly and looked towards her, before closing them again and leaning back. A little annoyed about the gesture she yelled again.

“Hurry and get out of the tub, we’re going to be late for school!” Haruka sighed in a defeated manner before he got up from the tub reluctantly and took the offered towel, standing face to face with Makoto. Well, basically face to face, seeing as Makoto still got a few inches on him. She was grateful about her height and because her frame wasn’t that broad she was often seen as a slim boy wearing big t-shirts, giving an illusion of a bigger build. The uniforms with their shoulder pads helped her uphold that illusion even in school.

“Drop the ‘chan’.” He said and made his way past her and out from the bathroom and Makoto now heard herself let out a sigh. Ever since they stopped swimming Haruka had been like this and the only times he was somewhat satisfied was when he could swim in the ocean and soon it would be warm enough to do that. He had tried to bring Makoto to the water too, but she always declined, politely of course. Sure, she was longing to swim again, but not in the ocean and Haruka didn’t push it, knowing well why.

She went after him down to the kitchen and was prepared to leave right away. Unfortunately, Haruka seemed to have other plans and opened the fridge to bring out a package with mackerel and started the frying pan with nothing but his shorts and an apron. Makoto had thought he would at least have some decency to put on his clothes, but that did not seem to be the case.

After about fifteen minutes of Haruka eating his breakfast and getting dressed and Makoto sighing and impatiently pacing the kitchen they were off. The walk to school wasn’t that far and both of them enjoyed the silence when they walked, save for the occasional car driving past them.

“We're in the same class again Haru. We even got a new teacher." Makoto said after a few minutes anyway, whether Haruka wanted to know or not. Suddenly thinking about yesterday she quickly added "Oh yeah, the teacher thought both you and me were girls, because of our names." she let out a chuckle and but when she looked at Haruka he seemed unfazed by it. It wasn't the first time for either of them. For Makoto it had been when she first started school in Iwatobi, but 'mistaken' might be the wrong word since they were right. She cleared her throat a bit and continued to walk, Haruka looking at the ocean with eyes full of longing.

"You'll be able to swim again soon Haru." she said to him with a kind smile and was met with an, for Haruka at least, excited look. Swimming was everything for him and it was unfair that the swim club closed down. There were even rumors circulating that it was to be demolished soon because of its decayed condition.

It didn't take long for them to reach the main gate of the school and Makoto took the lead and walked to the classroom, since she'd been the only one of them both to be present yesterday. Taking long strides so that they would reach their homeroom before the bell rung, it wasn't surprizing that she suddenly bumped into someone and lost her footing for a brief moment. Luckily, Haruka had been right behind her and quickly straightened her up.

"Ah, I'm so sorry! I didn't pay attention to where I was going!" she got out and bowed with an flustered expression planted on her face.

"Ah, it's okay, I- Haru-chan! Mako-chan!" the one she had bumped into said cheerfully and Makoto looked up in surprise.

"Ah, Nagisa!" she exclaimed happily and her face lit up. Indeed, it was the same boy she and Haruka had swum with all those years ago. He had grown quite a bit but she could tell that he was shorter than both her and Haruka. Before she could say anything else he had taken a step forward and proceeded to hug both her and then Haruka, who looked utterly uncomfortable with it.

"So how have you guys been?" he asked them both but Makoto knew it was more directed to her since Haruka would probably not say anything. Sure enough, Haruka stayed quiet and turned his head slightly to Makoto, waiting for her to continue the conversation. However, before she could utter a word, the bell rung.

"Sorry Nagisa, we need to go. But we can meet up at lunch, okay?" she looked apologetic and bowed another time before taking Haruka's hand and dragging him the last corridor down to the classroom. Haruka had a neutral face but Makoto was practically beaming. She hadn't seen Nagisa since about the time the swim club ended and she remembered all the fun all of them had. She slightly wondered if Haruka felt the same way but as of the moment he was unreadable. As always.

 

* * *

When lunch finally came she and Haruka walked out of the classroom along with the others and were met by Nagisa who stood and waited outside with a bento in his hand. He made a gesture and pointed to the ceiling.

“I thought we could eat at the roof, so we could get some time to catch up.” He said with a smile and Makoto nodded at him. Since she had both her and Haruka’s lunch in her hand he couldn’t protest about it and within a minute they had arrived on top of the school. The sun shone bright and the air was still. All in all it was a beautiful day and as they sat down Makoto leaned against the wall and closed her eyes with a sigh, enjoying the warm rays shining over her face. At her left side she heard Haruka ruffle with the cover of his bento that Makoto’s mom had happily prepared for him and on her right she heard Nagisa munch on his too.

“I sure miss swimming.” Nagisa suddenly mumbled and Makoto opened her eyes to look at him. However, Nagisa wasn’t looking at her; he was looking to his far right. Curiously she peeked over his head and saw the empty crater in the ground that used to be filled with water years ago. Now it was filled with dirt and leaves and seemed to have been forgotten. She felt herself nod at him even though his attention had yet to divert from the abandoned pool.

“Yeah, me too.” She mumbled back. From the corner of her eye did she see Haruka turned to the pool as well and she knew that he missed it the most.  After all, water was everything for Haruka.

“I know!” Nagisa suddenly exclaimed and turned around with a hurried voice that Makoto thought was a bit too cheerful. “We can start a swim club!” he had dropped his bento and was now leaning awfully close towards her with an excited smile. Honestly, she had in the first year gone behind Haruka’s back and tried to talk to the principal about filling the pool and start a club, like Nagisa was suggesting now. It had been futile however when she was told that the interest was too low and it would not happen. That’s why she couldn’t help but put on a frown against the younger blonde.

“Nagisa, although I’d love that I’m not sure we’ll be able to do that. There’s a lot of other clubs that needs the money and will get them. Besides, you can’t start a club on three persons. That’s the rules.” She said and noticed that she had recited most of what the principal told her not one year ago.

“Ah, it’s too late now, Haru-chan already caught the bait.” Nagisa said with a smirk and looked over Makoto’s shoulder and Makoto did the same. Indeed, Haruka was watching the empty pool with his excited blue eyes he reserved for water and mackerel. A defeated sigh escaped Makoto’s lips as she realized she probably had to do all work with starting the club and she knew that finding members would not be easy. Especially since all of the other clubs were really popular. As if sensing her worries, Nagisa patted her on the head.

“Don’t worry Mako-chan, I know a perfect person who can join us!” he said cheerily with a grin. Somehow she doubted it but she gave him a small smile nonetheless. After all, she didn’t want to make Haruka upset by saying it would be impossible, at least not right now when he still had that shine in his eyes. Suddenly the bell rung and Makoto hurriedly stood up, knocking Nagisa back a step and Haruka followed her. She made a quick bow towards him the now standing Nagisa.

“I’m afraid lunch is over Nagisa.” She said apologetic and made her way to the door were Haruka stood and waited. Seriously, he was fast when he wanted to. Before she could go through it though, Nagisa grabbed her wrist in a hurry.

“Wait! Let’s all meet up tonight at our old swim club!” he exclaimed and a look of confusion passed over Makoto’s features. However, she didn’t have time to question it as Haruka was tugging at her other wrist so she had to do a quick nod at the blonde boy who dropped his hold before following Haruka through the door. Behind her she barely heard Nagisa yell out a “7 pm!” before he was out of sight- and hear-range.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update but school and personal life decided to delay this chapter ^^'

“Ah, he’s not here yet.” Makoto said with a frown when both she and Haruka stood in front of the entrance. The building didn’t hide any mistreatment and the walls were covered in graffiti and tags. It was kind of hard to believe that a place like this that had meant very much for Makoto and Haruka would soon be gone forever. During the day she had wondered why Nagisa wanted them to meet up here and the most logical reason she had come up with was the trophy they had buried. The place was abandoned and as it looked now very dark. It felt rather spooky and she was glad that Haruka stood beside her or she wouldn’t have dared to come. Suddenly she felt something brush against her right arm where Haruka definitely not stood and she let out a rather terrified shriek.

“Relax, it’s just me.” Nagisa appeared beside her with his trademark smile and held up his arms as if he surrendered. Makoto let out a sigh of relief and heard Haruka snort beside her, obviously thinking that the shriek had been amusing. After a brief moment of calm did Makoto let her muscles relax and she gave a hesitant smile at Nagisa, hoping that he would not do something like that again, and noticed just then that he held something in his hands. Nagisa in turn noticed Makoto staring at his hands and he let out a sound as he seemed to remember what he held.

“Ah, I brought flashlights and a shovel.” He said as he held out one of the flashlights for Makoto and one for Haruka. Makoto gratefully took one and immediately switched it on while Haruka simply shrugged. He did accept it, but he put it in a pocket on his hoodie and didn’t bother with it. After Nagisa had turned his on he pointed it towards the building and started walking without any words and both Makoto and Haruka followed. Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Makoto with a grin.

“By the way, you might want to watch out Makoto, they say this place is haunted.” He said with a playful tone which did not amuse Makoto who immediately tensed up. If that was true then Makoto would rather just go home and not go any further. But she soon noticed that both Nagisa and Haruka went inside and instead of being left behind she quickly ran after them with a nervous shout of “wait for me!” The thought of being alone outside was scarier than the thought of being inside the old swim club with her friends.

She quickly caught up with them and walked next to Haruka, almost bumping in to him with every step but he didn’t seem to care. The inside looked worse than the outside with dirty floors and even more graffiti on the walls. If it hadn’t been for the flashlights then she would probably not have been able to see at all since the windows were covered in different tags and grime, blocking out any light that could possibly have made it in. It probably helped that they all were familiar with the building too, but nonetheless it felt a bit creepy inside. Hopefully they could dig out the trophy and get out as soon as possible.

They made it past the swimming pool, which was empty much too Haruka’s disappointment and soon reached the doors leading to the yard behind the former club. Nagisa opened the door for them and Makoto hesitantly went through it first and stopped just outside of the door. She shone with her flashlight and a surprised look crossed her features which went unnoticed by the boys. Because just a few feet ahead beside the bush where they had buried the trophy four years ago were a hole in the ground that looked like someone had dug it out not too long ago. When they all got closer they saw that it was most definitely were they buried it, however it was now empty. Nagisa was the first one to speak up.

“Eh? Did somebody steal it?” he said with a surprised voice and Makoto saw that Haruka nodded beside her. It was odd though, there were only a few people who knew about it being buried here and it was not like if it had any value except for sentimental, so who could have done it?

“Stealing is a rather harsh word, since it technically belongs to all of us.” a rather irritated voice spoke up behind them and all turned around in shock towards it. Makoto accidently dropped her flashlight and couldn’t quite see but she still knew who it had belonged to.

_Rin._

The blonde boy beside her suddenly perked up and with an excited tone yelled out “Rin-chan” to him and Makoto smiled at him, but he didn’t show any kind of happiness at seeing them. He looked rather bitter and Makoto felt her smile die down as she bent down and picked up the dropped flashlight and pointed it down to the ground. Through the small light she could see Rin holding a big bold object, most probably the trophy since he had made that statement.

"Rin?" she said with a questioning tone, an obvious surprise evident in her tone. Last time she had seen him he had been happy, despite the circumstances. He looked at her slightly with what she assumed was an annoyed expression, before he turned his head and stared at Haruka.

"Haru, care to explain why you're still hanging out with these two?" he let out with an almost accusing tone. Both Makoto and Nagisa flinched at that, whilst Haruka remained unfazed. He didn’t even make an attempt to answer and that felt like a blow. Didn’t Haruka have a reason for hanging out with them? Hurt by his words, Makoto looked towards the red-headed boy who didn't look at anything else than the dark haired boy. Eventually, seeing as Haruka didn't show any reaction nor gave him an answer, Rin huffed and looked away.

“Whatever. I didn’t come here for a chat anyway. I came here to challenge you.” He said to no one in particular, but Makoto knew that he was talking to Haruka. After all, they had been rivals back then and always subconsciously competed against each other. But it had always been for fun those times. Apparently it wouldn’t be like that this time. Makoto turned to Haruka in hope that he would just simply brush it off, but she saw the twinkle in his eyes as he accepted the challenge. This wasn’t good. She searched for Nagisa’s eyes, but he was looking back and forth between Haruka and Rin with an equally worrying expression as her.

When Rin heard the “I accept” coming out from Haruka, he gave a nod and walked to the door and opened it. Before he disappeared through it, he tossed the trophy towards them and Makoto had to jump back a bit in order to avoid it hitting her feet. Before she even had picked it up, Rin was gone. Instead of being angry at Rin’s action, she felt sad. This time when she searched for Nagisa’s eyes he was already looking at her, but his face didn’t give away anything.

“Let’s go home.” Makoto felt herself say and received a nod from the blonde. They made it through the building and when they parted ways, Nagisa going to the right and Haruka and Makoto to the left, they walked in silence. Without the flashlight, which she had returned to Nagisa, the streets were only lit up with the occasional street-light. At least now it didn’t bother Makoto, she had walked this road ever since she was eight and were familiar with all the corners and houses. What did bother her was the fact that Haruka was more silent than usual and that the reason for that was Rin. Sure she had hoped that they would meet up with Rin again, but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon, and she definitely hadn’t expected the cold greeting they got. As she walked and thought about the annoyed look she had received, Haruka suddenly broke the silence.

“You’re my friends.” Makoto hastily turned towards him with a confused look. What did he mean? Haruka simply looked towards the ocean while Makoto suddenly remembered Rin’s question. Why he had waited to answer she didn’t know, but Haruka never said anything about why he continued to hang out with Makoto. She didn’t give a reply and Haruka didn’t say anything else, but she couldn’t help but feel a little lighter about tonight. They had gotten the trophy like they first intended she reminded herself as she held it closer to her. They had even met Rin, even though he hadn’t behaved the same way as when they last saw him. Nonetheless, as she and Haruka bid each other good night and she closed the door to her room, she found herself smiling despite the events. Tomorrow they would meet up with Nagisa and ask for permission to start a swim club and with that thought she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

The next day at school while Haruka and Makoto sat on the roof eating lunch, Nagisa emerged through the door dragging a boy behind him who looked like he was very uncomfortable with the blonde boy. Nagisa was sporting a big smile as he waved to Makoto and Haruka and seemed not to notice the boy’s obvious will to disappear right at the spot.

“Hey Mako-chan and Haru-chan! This is the one I was talking about, Rei-chan!” the blonde said and dragged the other boy closer to them. The boy, Rei, was a lot taller than the blonde and looked to be more muscular than him, yet he struggled to make Nagisa let go of his hand. Makoto briefly wondered if this was a good idea at all, forcing the poor boy to join a club they didn’t even know if they had the permission to start. Yet she smiled at him and stood up with an outstretched hand.

“Hello, I’m Makoto. It’s nice to meet you Rei-san. I’m sorry about Nagisa, he isn’t good with people.” She said to him and Nagisa now had to let go of Rei’s hand, in order for Rei to shake Makoto’s. Of course the thing about Nagisa being bad with people was a lie, depending on how you saw it. Nagisa had always been deviously and manipulative ever since they were kids.

After Rei had let go of her hand he turned to look at Haruka, but he was too occupied with eating his mackerel and didn’t even look up at the newcomer. Makoto sighed a bit, because even if Haruka never meant to be rude, he was basically rude 97% of the day. If someone was bad with people it was Haruka.

“So, you want to help start a swim club with us, Rei-san?” Makoto asked with a kind smile towards him and he blushed a bit with embarrassment.

“W-well, Nagisa just sort of dragged me here without an explanation…” he said hesitatingly and Makoto sent the blonde a scolding look. Of course Nagisa would do such a thing she thought but before she could say something else Rei held up his hands in a defensive manner.

“B-but if it would help you then I would gladly accept.” He quickly said which gained the attention of Haruka, who stood up. Without saying a word Haruka grabbed a hold on Makoto’s hand and started dragging her towards the door. Surprised by the unusual action from her childhood friend Makoto didn’t know what to say.

“Let’s go talk to the principal right away then.” Haruka turned his head slightly and Makoto saw the same twinkle in his eyes that he always had when water was involved. From the corner of her eye she could see both Nagisa and Rei following them, Nagisa bouncing happily and similar to Haruka dragged the poor boy who stumbled to keep up. She felt bad on his behalf but had to focus on her own footing unless she wanted to fall. When Haruka was determined on something almost nothing could stop him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Forgot the first part of the chapter ^^'

To Makoto’s surprise and Haruka’s delight, they had almost immediately gotten their idea through. Mostly thanks to Nagisa, who had done all the talking and it turned out the principal himself had wanted someone to start up a swim club for a few years now. Apparently last year when she had asked there had been a lot of pressure on other groups, but now when the soccer club had disbanded there was room for a new one. The only thing he was concerned about was the state the pool was in but Nagisa had quickly piped up that they would personally fix everything regarding cleaning and repairing and that was enough for the principal to give them the registration papers.

Of course they could not have the full responsibility because no one was 18 yet. But thankfully Makoto’s teacher Amakata said that she volunteered to help them out as long as she didn’t have to do anything, which was fine by everyone. There was also the issue that they needed a captain on the form and without any voting whatsoever Nagisa wrote Makoto's name on the line since nobody seemed to complain anyway. Well, mentally Makoto was complaining, because knowing Nagisa and Haruka, she would probably have to deal with everything in the club since Haruka was only in it for the water, and Nagisa would probably find an excuse for everything. She wasn't sure about Rei, but since he was practically forced to join she doubted she would dare asking him anyway. With a heavy sigh from Makoto's side they left the office and Nagisa beamed.

"Let's start immediately after school! We can probably borrow some stuff from the janitor." he said and Haruka nodded beside him, eager with the thought of the pool filled with water. Or at least that's what Makoto assumed he thought, because cleaning didn't seem that appealing. Nonetheless, she smiled at him and nodded, before she reminded them that lunch was soon over.

"Alright then, we'll see you after school." Nagisa said and waved before he took a hold of Rei's hand and similar to before dragged the boy away. Before they went out of sight Makoto saw Rei whisper something to Nagisa who simply shrugged and said something back with a dismissive wave of his hand. Makoto turned back to look at Haruka and smiled at him.

"Shall we go, Haru?" she asked him just as the bell went off and Haruka gave a small nod of his head before he turned around and walked to their homeroom, Makoto following him.

 

* * *

 

 

"Ugh, it's dirtier than I thought." Nagisa complained as he scrubbed the bottom of the pool with a brush and only managed to uncover a new layer of dirt. The janitor had been kind enough to let them borrow some scrubbers and detergents. Thought the dirt covered more than enough of the pool it seemed as if it were intact and they would probably not even need to repair it, only fill it with water. Makoto took a peek at Haruka who seemed to be the most enthusiastic about getting the pool clean and scrubbed vigorously at a spot.  She chuckled when she saw him so determined but stopped when she notice a figure standing on the other side of the fence.

“Nagisa, who is that?” she turned around and asked the blonde boy who seemed relieved to be able to pause in his scrubbing. He turned his head to the fence and scrunched his eyes, searching for a name to match the figure. Makoto now saw that it was a girl with a uniform from their school, but she didn’t recognize her. Until Rei noticed her too.

“That is Matsouka Gou, a freshman attending class B.” he said and adjusted his glasses absently, not realizing he smudged some dirt on them. Suddenly Makoto remembered that it was Rin’s sister and she wondered for a brief moment if that meant that Rin too was attending Iwatobi. Before she could ask it out loud however, Gou seemed to have found the gate and walked in to stand at the pool’s edge, looking down on them while they scrubbed.

“It is you guys.” She said in awe as her eyes went from Haruka and Makoto to Nagisa. Makoto remembered that she had always been around Rin and naturally always had been on their swim practices and cheered them on even when they weren’t swimming. Gou suddenly seemed to realize that she hadn’t said anything else than that and her words quickly spilled out from her mouth.

“I heard from some other kids that they swim club was opening up and since I didn’t know anyone else who swam except for Haruka-senpai , Makoto-senpai and Nagisa-kun, I thought I could come and see if it was you. “ she said and smiled now at them and Makoto found herself smiling back at her.

“If Gou-chan is here, does that mean Rin-chan is here as well?” Nagisa suddenly asked and had moved from his scrubbers to the edge where Gou stood. He wasn’t quite tall enough to see over the edge and had to crane his neck backwards in order to see her at all. At that question Gou looked surprised at them, as if they had missed some big news.

"Call me Kou, and Rin is in Australia, I thought you would remember?”  she said with a look of suspicion and crossed her arms across her chest. Makoto felt herself wondering if Rin hadn’t told anyone else than them about his arrival. If that was the case, then why did he come back now? She stood up and walked closer to Gou and Nagisa and in comparison to Nagisa she could see over the edge, but still leaned a bit backwards so she could make eye contact with Gou.

“I’m afraid that he is not in Australia anymore. You see, we met him yesterday at our old club.” Makoto said with an apologetic smile, knowing that Rin meant a lot to Gou and apparently hadn’t even announced that he was back.

For a moment it was silent, Gou standing on the edge and staring down into the ground with a thoughtful face. Behind Makoto there could be heard scrapes from Haruka, who didn’t even stop to listen to the conversation, and from the corner of her eye she could see that Rei had gotten closer. Suddenly Gou let out an annoyed huff of air and she looked determined when she met Makoto’s eyes.

“I guess he’s too old to care about telling his sister. Whatever. I don’t care.” She said to them all before she took a long look at the pool. She suddenly seemed to get an idea. “Do you need another member?” she asked them with a smile and Nagisa started to almost bounce in his place.

“Gou-chan in a bathing suit?” he asked with excitement written all over his face and Gou immediately replaced her smile with an irritated scowl.

“It’s still Kou! And I won’t swim. I meant like a manager or something, since I haven’t chosen a club yet and I need to choose by the end of this week.”  She said and ignored Nagisa when he pleaded that she should swim with them. Instead she met Makoto’s eyes once again, as if asking for permission. Makoto herself turned towards Haruka, but he was still busy scrubbing and didn’t seem to take note of anything. Well, technically she had the final word seeing as she was the captain so asking Haruka wouldn’t be needed.

“That would be great, Kou-san.” Makoto said with a smile towards her and Gou seemed to lighten up with a faint blush covering her cheeks.

“But you should swim, because Rei-chan can’t.” Nagisa suddenly butted in and made a gesture to the boy in question, who looked utterly embarrassed when all eyes including Haruka’s turned to him with looks of disbelief. Haruka seemed to be most upset by it; Makoto knew that he probably was, seeing as water and swimming went hand in hand with each other. Rei in turn nervously fixed his glasses’ position, yet again unaware of the dirt he brought with the gesture.

“Ah, well…” he started awkwardly and let out an uneasy laugh as he tried to look anywhere but at the others. “I-it’s not like I haven’t ever swum before, but- well, it was a long time ago and I was never that good at it…” he stuttered with a red face, obviously uncomfortable in his current position. Sensing that they would come nowhere with this, Makoto decided to speak up.

“It’s okay, Rei-san, we can teach you how.” She told him with a friendly smile and Nagisa nodded in agreement beside her.  Rei seemed to let out a sigh of relief at that. She gave a quick glance towards Haruka and noticed that he had gone back to scrub the pool. Well, she and Nagisa knew enough to teach him, they didn’t really need Haruka’s help for that. Still, it would be nice if he could be more help to others than just himself.

“Oh, it’s getting late.” Gou cleared her throat and said while looking at her watch. Makoto in turn looked at hers and saw that it was already past six o’clock. They had been scrubbing for hours then and Makoto needed to be home before seven, a rule her mother had recently came up with. She knew that Makoto was always punctual, but she said that it was good to know when she could start to worry if she was late.

“Shall we call it a day?” she said and smiled towards the others and both Nagisa and Rei happily nodded at her. She saw that Haruka hesitated a bit before he too gave a small nod. She turned to Gou who had already begun to make her way towards the gate and waved at her and received a wave in return.

“Well then, let’s get going and we’ll continue tomorrow.” Makoto said and crawled up from the pool.

 

* * *

 

 

It took them another two days to finish cleaning the pool and another day to fill it up. While the pool was being pumped with water they cleaned the locker rooms and Makoto suddenly realized that she hadn’t thought about the swimming itself as much as starting the club. How would she be able to swim with the other boys? When she was younger she had used swimming trunks, but now it would be impossible to do because of her breasts. What’s more, the locker room had no bathroom directly connected and no other hidden spaces except for the showers and it would look really suspicious if she changed in the shower room.

Therefore, she felt more and more anxious as the pool filled up. Of course, they wouldn’t be able to swim yet since it was too cold, although Makoto saw how Haruka longingly looked outside to the water while leaning on the mop. Makoto shook her head lightly to herself as she turned to focus on dusting off all the dust and cobweb from the shelf and jumped a bit in surprise when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She knew that she was easily frightened, but this was ridiculous.

“Sorry if I scared you, I was just wondering if something’s wrong Mako-chan. You’re awfully quiet.” Nagisa asked her as she turned around with a questioning look. Well, she couldn’t tell him that she was afraid of exposing her secret or that she was wondering where she could change. Instead, she chose to take one of the smaller concerns she had at the moment.

“Nothing’s wrong Nagisa, I just realized that I don’t own any swimwear. At least not anything I still can fit into.” She said truthfully because it was true. Her main issue about swimwear would be to find something that wasn’t a swimsuit but still covered the top of her body. When Nagisa heard her explanation he seemed to remember something.

“Well, all mines are too small as well I think. I don’t think Rei-chan own one either...” He said thoughtfully and casted a glance to Gou who stood on the other side of the room and swiped with a broom “and maybe we can convince Gou-chan to buy a bikini as well?” he whispered to Makoto, who blushed a bit at that, with a grin on his face. Suddenly Nagisa turned around and ran to Rei, who in surprise knocked over a bucket of dirty water to the floor.

“Rei-chan, tomorrow we’ll go buy swimming trunks all five of us!” Nagisa said cheerfully as he clamped over the water. At that Gou looked up and turned towards the blonde with a slightly confused face.

“What, me too? I won’t buy anything you know.” Gou said stubbornly and Nagisa pouted slightly at her. Gou casted a quick glance towards Makoto and blushed slightly. “Although, since all of you are going and I’m part of the club as well, I’ll come with you.” She said and then mumbled something to herself as she avoided looking at Makoto. Makoto was a bit confused and thought she heard something about muscles. Which reminded her of another thing, they were all pretty out of shape, save for maybe Rei, depending on if he had other activities.

“Why don’t we go today?” Haruka suddenly said, having crept up beside Makoto and surprised all of them by talking for the first time that day. After getting rid of the confusion everyone turned to Makoto and patiently waited for an answer, including Haruka.

“Haru, you’re the one who needs new swim trunks the least. You own about ten pair already.” She tried to reason with him, but he looked unfazed. Clearly he didn’t see the issue here. He simply let out a ‘can we?’ and Makoto looked in Nagisa’s direction, hoping he or Rei would help her out, but alas, the same question was on their faces. Why did she have to make all the decisions if she didn’t really get a say in anything?

“Alright!” she sighed loudly “We’ll go immediately, if we want to make it before closing hours.” No sooner than she said it all of them dropped their tools and was out the door. Carefully she set down the feather duster and went after them. She briefly wondered if it was a plot against her in order to quit cleaning.

 

* * *

 

 

“You should try this one Rei-chan- oh, this one too.” Nagisa practically bounced as he picked up various trunks and tossing them to poor Rei, who seemed almost overwhelmed by the big pile in his arms, however his protests went unnoticed by the blonde. Gou had after about five minutes become bored by their behavior and had sat down on a chair near the fitting rooms and found a sports magazine she lazily flipped through. Haruka had gone to the place where he always picked up his swimsuits while Makoto was now anxiously browsing different trunks.

To pick one which didn’t have a top was out of the question of course, and a swimsuit was also not a good choice. What’s more, if she didn’t buy anything now it would probably look suspicious. She was about to stop looking and try a different shelf when she noticed a longer garment hanging from a hanger. Carefully she took it out and examined her. To her joy she saw it was some sort of body suit with green lines on it that would definitely cover the most necessary parts. With a smile on her face she picked out her size and walked past Gou and into a fitting room. A bit cautious she took of her shirt and pants and quickly slid into the suit.

She observed herself in the mirror and her lips quirked upward. It fitted her perfectly and she was relieved that her breast wasn’t even visible, thanks to her taping them earlier this morning. She didn’t get much time to examine herself as the curtains of her changing room suddenly were yanked back and Nagisa almost walked in. He stopped himself however and smile apologetic.

“Sorry Mako-chan, I thought it was unoccupied.” He said and Makoto blushed slightly. Before Nagisa closed the curtains he gave her a thumb up. “You should buy that, it looks good.” He said as Makoto heard the curtains next to her open and close. Makoto had frozen the second that Nagisa had seen her, but now she let out a small breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. He hadn’t suspected anything. That was good, no, great. She would definitely buy this one. She quickly stripped down from the suit and put on her clothes in a rushed tempo, afraid that Nagisa or someone else would come in again, and then went out to Gou.

She sat down next to the red-haired girl and patiently waited for Nagisa, Rei and Haruka to finish with whatever they were doing. Gou gave her a small smile before she turned back to the magazine. Rei was the first one to come out of the fitting rooms, holding a pair of trunks in his hands. Second was Nagisa, who held the same brand as Rei but different color. Both stood opposite of her and Gou and conversation soon emerged as they waited for their fifth member. After seven minutes however, Haruka still hadn’t shown up. Nagisa walked by all the curtains and looked through the gap on the bottom. When he returned he shook his head at them.

“There’s no one there.” He said and shrugged at them. Frowning, Makoto stood up and looked over the racks and shelves, but she didn’t see him either. Slightly worried about him Makoto said that they should go out and look for him and they all nodded at the suggestion. They went to the cashier and paid for everything before they headed to the exit.

Makoto walked through the front door and walked left, followed by Gou, while Rei and Nagisa went the other way. They hadn’t walked far when Gou reacted beside her and started walking faster. By squinting her eyes Makoto saw a silhouette not far from her, silently cursing her contact lenses for not being able to see clearly, and she too sped up thinking it was Haruka. Only to notice what Gou had probably done before her, he wasn’t alone. Because in front of him stood a glaring Rin and as both she and Gou came closer she could hear that their tones were far from friendly. Rin was about to snarl something at Haruka, when he noticed his sister and Makoto approaching them.

“Rin!” Gou almost yelled at him and he backed away a bit as she approached him, surprise evident on his face. He looked as if he was about to say something to her, but he didn’t get the chance before Gou stopped a few meters from him and crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you tell me or mom that you were back?” she said accusingly while maintaining a glare. Haruka had turned around when he had heard them come and looked back and forth between the siblings while Makoto awkwardly stood behind the redheaded girl. At that, Rin’s face went from surprised to annoyed.

“You knew I was going to come back this month, I don’t see why you should care about the exact time.” He huffed at her and his arms were also crossed over his chest. It didn’t seem as if he was going to continue and judging by Gou’s sour expression Makoto knew that she wasn’t done. However, she knew that a fight could be avoided and they also needed to catch the train or else they’d have to wait for at least two more hours. So naturally, Makoto decided to step up between the two redheads with a nervous smile.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two, but if we want to get home in time we need to leave soon. Could you perhaps have this conversation any other time?” she said quietly but she knew that they must have heard her. Gou turned around with a huff and made her way back to the shop, probably to find Nagisa and Rei, and Rin gave her an uncomfortable glare. Luckily, Haruka seemed to notice her discomfort and walked to her.

“We will also talk about this another time.” Haruka said neutrally to Rin, who like his sister turned around with an annoyed ‘whatever’, before he left the two of them alone, heading towards the city area. To say Makoto was confused was an understatement. Sure she got why Gou and Rin were mad at each other, but what Rin and Haruka had talked about remained a mystery, and she didn’t want to pry.

“Shall we go, Makoto?” Haruka asked her when Rin was out of earshot and she nodded. They soon met up with the other three and made their way to the train station, after Haruka had bought two swimsuits identical to the one’s he already owned. While Nagisa happily talked all the time Gou remained quiet as Haruka, which of course worried Makoto. When they boarded the train Makoto took the liberty of sitting next to Gou.

“Something wrong?” she asked her politely although she knew that Rin’s new attitude probably bothered her.

“It’s just that…” Gou started and then hesitated a bit, but when she looked up at Makoto and was given a reassuring smile, she decided to continue. “Well, he has been so cold the last couple of years, not as noticeable as now though. Also, he didn’t tell me that he would come back. I actually had to ask mom after you said he was here, and she told me that she hadn’t expected him to come back already.” She let out a sigh and stared out of the window for a while, before she turned to the brunette with a forced smile. “Ah, well, let’s not worry about that. He’s back in one piece, which is good enough for me.” She said curtly, not letting Makoto get a chance to say anything, which she didn’t.

When Makoto came home she once again tried on the swimsuit again, just to double-check and once again she saw that it looked good and with a smile she changed into her pajama. Shortly after both Ren and Ran came over to her room and they played video games until all three of them fell asleep. One of her worries had been solved today, and she didn’t want to dwell on the other. Besides, before the pool was warm enough to swim in, she might have found an alternative way to change before practice.


	6. Chapter 6

The following day was a Saturday, but they had gotten permission from the school to keep working in the club. The weather was sunny, although not warm. Chilly winds managed to sneak around every corner and it seemed as if there was nowhere to take shelter. The pool was now filled to the brim with water and no sooner than they had made their way to the club, Haruka had jumped into the pool. Makoto briefly wondered if he had worn his trunks underneath since he woke up, before both Rei and Nagisa emerged from the changing rooms dressed in their newly bought trunks. The glass-clad boy gave her a polite wave, before Nagisa as usual dragged him away, this time towards the water. Water which Makoto knew was freezing cold.

Haruka didn’t seem to mind and only floated on the other side, and Nagisa looked so excited that she didn’t have the heart to tell him that he shouldn’t jump in. Instead she sat down on the edge and made sure to avoid any water while she hugged her arms tightly around herself, glad that she ‘forgot’ her swimsuit so she didn’t have to participate in the ceremonial ‘first dip’. From the corner of her eye she saw someone approaching and when she turned her head she saw it was Gou.

“Hello Makoto-senpai.” She said cheerfully, unlike yesterday. “You’re not going to join them?” she asked her and nodded towards Nagisa, who currently tried to drag Rei down into the more shallow part of the water. The blonde himself shivered where he was in the water and Rei had seemed to realize it. However, a loud splash was heard and it was now too late to regret it. When Makoto saw Rei frantically trying to climb up the ledge only to be pulled back by Nagisa, she chuckled and shook her head.

“I’m afraid not, I don’t feel like getting sick when we’ve only just started the club.” She said and chuckled. Gou in return nodded at her and sat down beside her, watching the amusing scene. Haruka had also noticed the commotion and turned around so he could drift the other way. If he was cold it didn’t show at all.

“It will probably be this cold for another week or so I've heard.” Gou suddenly said and absently watched the water’s movement. Makoto let out a small humming noise in return, aware of that too. They both stayed silent for a while, the only sounds coming from the whistling wind and the two freshmen yelling and splashing around.

“I know where Rin is staying by the way.” She added as if the both sentences fitted together, but for Makoto they of course didn’t. This time she looked at Gou with a puzzled face, silently asking to continue, which she did after a moment. “I talked to mom and she told me where he was attending school, so I thought I could go and talk to him. You know, ask him some stuff. As it turned out, I couldn’t find him.” She said and met Makoto’s eyes. “I ended up asking a guy where Rin was but he didn’t know. However, he said I could come back on Monday when they have swim practice and then when I mentioned the club he invited you all over to join them at their indoor-pool.” She finished with a small smile.

“Wait a minute, where is he attending school?” Makoto finally asked her when she was done talking, because she didn’t know any place near them that had an indoor pool. On one hand she was curious, because an opportunity like this rarely came up, but on the other hand she was nervous. There would be a lot of people watching each other swim and the first thing she worried for was actually not being found out, but if she was good enough. After all, it had been a long while since she last swum, at least in something similar as competitive.

“He’s staying at Samezuka Academy, the elite swimming school. Luckily for us it’s only a thirty minutes train ride from here.” Gou answered her question calmly. Suddenly Nagisa emerged from the water right before them. Makoto jumped a bit in surprise and so did Gou too. A quick glance confirmed that Rei was up from the water and shaking in a towel on his way towards them.

“Samezuka?” Nagisa pried with a grin. “Of course we’ll come! Right Mako-chan?” he urged and looked at her with excitement and Makoto found herself nodding. It seemed as if they finally caught Haruka’s attention and he quietly made his way through the water to them. He curiously lifted his head and Makoto couldn’t help but notice that both of the boys in the water and also Rei, who stood beside Gou, had slightly blue lips. The wind was not warm either and when Gou suggested that they should go inside no one but Haruka complained.

Adjoining to the locker room was a small room that Gou had claimed her ‘office’. Not that there were much paperwork to do in a school club, but she said that it’s still custom to have one. Since Makoto hadn’t been swimming she joined Gou on the floor in the office, since no chairs had been brought in yet, while the three other boys tested the showers.

“So… Samezuka?” Makoto broke the silence with the question. It was no wonder really, Rin’s dream was to become an Olympic swimmer, but Makoto had always thought that he would be staying in Australia until he could achieve that goal. Why was he back? Furthermore, there were other schools in Japan that was more well known. Was it because it was close to his family? Gou seemed reluctant to answer however and just nodded towards the door.

“Let’s wait until everyone comes.” As if on cue, the door was slammed open by Nagisa, who grinned from ear to ear, but Makoto still saw him shivering. She hoped that none of them had caught a cold, but a sneeze from behind Nagisa seemed to indicate otherwise.

"Geez Rei-chan, cover your nose next time will you?" Nagisa said with a pout to the taller boy who just appeared. He mumbled a 'sorry' and they both sat down and formed an uneven circle. Haruka appeared in the doorway shortly afterwards and sat down next to Makoto, who neither shivered nor looked the least cold.

"So since everyone is here I'll explain a bit. I went to see Rin at his new school, Samezuka Academy, but I couldn't find him. I talked to the captain of the swim team in hope that he had been to practice recently, but he might have known I was coming because he skipped out. So the captain suggested that I should come Monday and he would make sure that Rin was there. Since I don't want to go alone I mentioned you guys and asked if it was okay to come and watch the practice while I talk to Rin and he said that you were more than welcome to join them. While I said that I would talk to you about it he gave me his number so I could contact him." Gou explained to all of them and smiled at them. "The only question remaining is, do you want to go?"

Everyone in the room made an agreeing sound, Rei and Makoto a little more hesitant than the other two. Makoto herself was still doubting whether or not swimming with others for the first time was a bad idea or not and Rei was probably not really going to swim anyway.

"Great, I'll text him right away." Gou chirped and brought out her cellphone and immediately started typing. When she was done, she noticed that everyone was waiting patiently for her to say something.

"I guess we'll call it a day." she said and looked at Rei, who was shivering slightly and hugging his legs. "You're all probably tired and cold, and the only thing left to fix is this office, which I can do by myself." she finished and stood up, walking towards the door and opening it.

“Come on, go home before I change my mind and let you all clean up instead. I’ll see you Monday after school, don’t forget to bring your trunks and towels okay?” she said cheerfully as she ushered them all outside. As soon as Rei who was the last person to leave the office passed through the door Gou shut it close. Everyone looked at each other for a while before Makoto faked a cough.

“Well then, I guess we’ll be going home then.” she said and glanced at Haruka who gave a small nod. Since they lived in the same direction it was only natural to ask him. However, Nagisa suddenly piped up.

“Wait! Can’t we like, have a sleepover or something? Since it’s Saturday and none of us seems to have other plans?” he had a big smile on his face that said they had no choice in the matter at all. Well, Makoto and Haruka was planning on spending the day at her house and play the new video game she bought, but it might be more fun if both Nagisa and Rei joined in. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t Makoto that answered Nagisa’s question, but rather Haruka.

“That’s fine, we can stay at my house.” he said with a nod and Nagisa beamed. He then took a hold of Rei’s arm and started to drag him to the exit.

“Then we’ll just go and collect some stuff before we come over, if that’s fine.” Nagisa shouted at them, now on his way out, to which Makoto gave a small nod. When both of the teens had disappeared she glanced down to Haruka.

“Shall we go?” she asked him and he wordlessly started to walk out, while Makoto grabbed his bag from the benches and followed him. In the other room she could hear distinct footsteps and Gou humming to herself.

 

 

* * *

 

While Haruka had said that it was fine for them to stay at his house, Makoto had her suspicion that he had changed his mind. Both Nagisa and Rei was yelling at each other while fighting over the controller, arguing over whose turn it actually was, even though Makoto had generously offered her own one they hadn’t paid her any attention. Not only that, but as soon as Nagisa had arrived he had jumped on Haruka’s bed and claimed it for the night and hadn’t left it since then. Well, except for now when both boys had taken their fight to the floor and rolled around, Rei holding up the controller and the shorter one reaching for it, neither one giving up.

It slightly reminded Makoto of Ren and Ran, but even they stopped bickering when she told them to. She glanced over to Haruka, who was starting to show an annoyed expression directed towards the two fighting teenagers. He suddenly stood up and muttering something, heading towards the kitchen. Makoto guessed that he was going to make mackerel or something, since that’s basically the only thing in his refrigerator.

The moment Haruka left, it seemed that Nagisa had won the war and was sitting on Rei’s back with a foot pressing the other’s head to the floor. The scene was a bit bizarre, but since Rei didn’t seem to be in pain Makoto didn’t say anything. Instead, she prepared herself for another round of the game, since she was holding the other remote and Nagisa had started the game almost immediately after getting the controller in his hands.

It was no secret that Makoto was bad at fighting games and it was not surprising at all when she lost for the third time in a row. Knowing that a rematch wouldn’t get her anywhere, she gave the controller to Rei, since he looked determined to beat Nagisa. Beside their tapping on the buttons Makoto heard the distinctive sound of something frying from the other room. Not sure on what she should do next, she watched the two boys fight each other on the screen.

“It’s a shame I couldn’t get Gou-chan to join us.” Nagisa suddenly said loudly to himself while throwing the finishing blow to Rei’s character, winning the fight. Nagisa glanced back to Makoto with a sly smile.

“When I mentioned that Mako-chan was here, she quickly said that she was hanging out with Chigusa tonight.” he continued and started a new fight against Rei, who gripped the controller tighter and seemed to click the buttons harder. Makoto felt a bit bad for the glass-clad boy, knowing that Nagisa was invincible in this game, but said nothing. After yet another victory for the shorter boy, Nagisa gave the controller to Makoto. She started to get the upper-hand against Rei, until Nagisa seemed to continue his sentence.

“I think she likes you.” he said and looked Makoto in the eye. Surprised by his statement, Makoto lost focus for a brief moment and that was all it took for Rei to K.O her character. Now that Rei wasn’t distracted by the game, he too turned around as if to determine Makoto’s reaction. Except that Makoto didn’t react that much. Ever since middle school, all sorts of girls had approached her and said that they liked her. She didn’t have anything against any of them, but she had always kindly rejected them and said that she didn’t feel the same. The main reason was of course that she didn’t want to be found out, which she probably would be if she started dating. Moreover, she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Therefore, she tried to brush of Nagisa’s suspicions by acting clueless.

“Is that so? Well, she is my friend so of course I like her too.” she said and started yet another new round and that got Rei’s attention to shift from her to the TV. However Nagisa still looked at her with a puzzled look. Just as Makoto managed to beat up Rei’s character, only by repeatedly pressing one button, the blonde boy seemed to have figured something out. Or at least, he looked like he had.

“Could it be that you swim for the other team, Mako-chan?” he said with a curious expression. This time however it was Rei who stepped up and looked at Nagisa sceptically.

"What kind of question is that Nagisa? You know that Makoto-senpai swims only for Iwatobi." Rei said and Nagisa gave him a look of disbelief. Even Makoto stared at him. Then Nagisa said what both him and Makoto was wondering.

"Rei, are you stupid?" he chuckled at him. "I meant that Makoto might like boys, dumbass." he finished and then turned to Makoto again who was now feeling a bit uncomfortable, waiting for an answer. Rei looked like he wanted to protest but he was undoubtedly equally curious. However, before Makoto could say anything, Haruka emerged through the door with a tray.

"I made some mackerel and rice." he muttered and put the tray on the floor right in front of the TV. Nobody was surprised and since they were all hungry they started to eat, thanking Haruka for the food. The question wasn't brought up again and after they had eaten they started playing again.

After many buts from Nagisa he eventually agreed to let Makoto have the bed instead, because both Rei and Haruka had said that Makoto was to tall for the mattresses on the floor. Makoto had assured them that it was fine but Nagisa then said that he'd sleep on the floor. Since Haruka didn't have that many spare mattresses Makoto and him laid head to toe on the bed and Nagisa and Rei slept on two different mattresses, Nagisa closest to the bed. It didn't take long for Rei to fall asleep and Haruka followed shortly after. However, before Makoto could finally doze of, Nagisa nudged her, wondering if she was still awake. She started nodding, until she realized it was too dark to see it and made a humming sound instead.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable before, you know, asking if you liked boys." he whispered and Makoto let out a small sigh. Just as she was about to say that it was fine, because it really was, the younger interrupted her.

“If you do, then I have no problems with it. Just so you know.” he trailed off. Makoto hummed in response, too tired to discuss it any more and she soon managed to fall asleep as well. What she didn’t see in the dark was how Nagisa hadn’t looked at her when he spoke, but at the snoring Rei next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible sorry for the long wait and more sorry that it's pretty short! I got a little writer's block on this but I hope that it's over now and I'll try to update more often!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I struggled with this chapter for quite a while :/

Rei had seemed to gotten ill during the night and had awoken them all with coughs and sneezes, to which he apologized deeply for. Nagisa had then offered to walk him home in case he got worse and they both left after breakfast. Makoto also had to go home when her mother called her and she had left shortly afterwards. Her mother had wanted her to help cleaning the house which had taken practically the whole day and not much time were left to do other thing so she just went to bed early.  
  
When she woke up the following morning she made herself ready for school and also packed up a bag with her new swimsuit and a towel. She was still unsure of how she would be able to change clothes but she would have to take a bathroom or something. Then there would also be the issue of showering afterwards but she decided not to think about it. Nevertheless, she said goodbye to her siblings and her parents and made her way to pick up Haruka and went to school.  
  
The hours had seemed to rush by and before Makoto knew it they had all boarded a train leading them to Samezuka. All of them except for Rei, who had stayed home still feeling sick, thus leaving them with whining Nagisa, leading to a cranky Gou. They where lucky that they weren’t kicked out from the train when Nagisa for the fourth time complained that he was bored and Gou finally had enough and started yelling at him. Nagisa had of course started yelling back and Makoto had somehow managed to calm them down, but not before everyone in the same compartment had all looked at them.  
  
Makoto wondered when she had started to babysit her swim team more than her younger siblings.  
  
They only rode the train for thirty minutes but it had felt much longer to Makoto. When Nagisa and Gou had stopped arguing there had been plenty of time for her to think about all sorts of things she still haven’t decided on and when they finally stopped in front of the big school Makoto was beginning to feel anxious. She started to realize that this may not have been a good idea to agree to and she even envied Rei for being sick since he didn’t have to come. Just as she was about to make an excuse that she had forgotten her swimsuit, a tall boy with red hair walked towards them and waved at them.  
  
“Hello, I’m glad you could all make it. I’m Mikoshiba Seijuro, it’s nice to meet you” he said with a smile as he came closer. When Gou greeted him in return and introduced all of them to the other, Makoto realized that this must be the captain Gou talked with. Both she and Nagisa bowed politely to him, while Haruka just nodded at him.  
  
“Come on, this way.” Seijuro said and started walking towards one of the bigger buildings, which upon entering turned out to be the swimming hall. The building was not only impressive from the outside but the inside as well and Makoto found it hard to grasp that this was just one of the many constructions on the campus. She was overwhelmed, to say the least.  
  
“Welcome to Samezuka Swim Club!” Seijuro said dramatically while holding out his arms. He pointed towards two doors to the right, both marked with ‘men’ and ‘women’ respectively. “Over there are the locker rooms,” he started and then continued to move his arm behind him “and the pool is over there. Any questions?” he finished big smile which Makoto and Nagisa returned while shaking their heads.  
  
“Great! You can go and change then so we can start training.” he added. But when all three of them walked towards the locker rooms, Seijuro stopped them. “If it’s no trouble, would you mind taking the women’s locker room, since the men’s are always full and no girls go to this school?” he asked them and Makoto felt relieved for the first time since arriving at the school.  
  
Haruka simply shrugged and Nagisa cheerfully said okay, while Makoto had to restrain herself so she wouldn’t seem to happy about it. She nodded at the captain and Gou and followed the other two inside the locker room and immediately went into a bathroom and locked herself in. She put her ear to the door and listened, half expecting Nagisa to make a comment about it. However, when she didn’t hear anything other than clothes ruffling and water running she relaxed a bit and changed her clothes to her swimwear, making sure that her breasts were taped and concealed.  
  
She waited a few minutes until the last drops of water could be heard as well as footsteps walking further away. It wasn’t until Nagisa yelled at her to hurry that she finally unlocked the door and stepped out. To her relief she was now alone and she quickly went to the showers and then out to the pool.  
  
The pool was much bigger than the one they had, but of course there were also more people that swam here. Of course all of them looked at them curiously while their captain introduced them. Suddenly her nervousness flared up again and she didn’t hesitate to stand behind Haruka and Nagisa, hoping no one would pay any attention to her.  
  
Luckily, their interest soon disappeared as Seijuro started to explain the day’s schedule, while Makoto carefully looked around the big hall. Gou sat alone on the bleachers looking at all of the boys while practically drooling. When she turned her head a bit and towards Samezuka’s team, she almost instantly spotted Rin and it seemed as if Haruka did too. However, the red-haired boy didn’t even glance at them, seemingly ignoring the three of them. At loss of what to do, Makoto quietly lowered her eyes again and when the captain gave them the permission to warm up everyone jumped into pool and started to swim. Some were swimming butterfly, others breaststroke, freestyle and there were even a few swimming backstroke.  
  
The trio also jumped in and all choose different lanes and by the first stroke Makoto was surprised by how much she had actually missed swimming and a sudden smile appeared on her lips. The water’s temperature was just right, her swimwear was comfortable and she easily made her way to the other side, turned and pulled herself through the water. She curiously glanced towards the lane next to her were she had last seen Haruka, but he was way ahead of her. That didn’t bother her though and for the next thirty minutes before Seijuro went up and blew in a whistle she was content in just swimming in her own pace.  
  
“Alright! Time for a break and then we’ll do a practice relay with sprints and exchanges.” the captain exclaimed and no sooner the pool became empty. Even Haruka had gotten up and sat down beside Makoto and Nagisa, a bit farther away from the others. Though both Nagisa and Makoto was a bit tired Haruka didn’t show any signs of it and his eyes almost shone.  
  
“Is it going well?” Makoto asked the two of them while she took a sip of the water Nagisa offered her. The small amount of physical activity started to show as her limbs was aching a bit. The thought that she would be sore tomorrow was overshadowed by the genuine smiles she received, Nagisa’s wide whilst Haruka’s small.  
“It’s going great, I’m a bit rusty but it’s fun to finally be in the water again.” Nagisa said happily and both Haruka and Makoto nodded at that statement. Before they had a chance to say anything else, the whistle around the captains neck was blown yet again and everyone stood up and walked towards the edge of the pool.  
  
“Okay, we’ll use three lanes. In those I want two doing backstroke, two breast, butterfly and freestyle. Line up so you follow that pattern and when all of you have swum you can wind down before we’ll call it a day.” the redhead explained and started dividing them all into three groups without hesitation.  
  
Much to Makoto’s dismay, Haruka and Nagisa both ended up in the same team and the only one she recognised in her team was Rin, who stood in the back of the line. She was the second to do backstroke in her and she felt more and more nervous as time went by.  
  
Suddenly all of the chatter around her died out as Seijuro stood by the long side of the pool and held up his hand. The first swimmers jumped into the pool and waited for the start-signal to come. Even though it was an unofficial practice race, Makoto still felt nervous as the signal went off and the swimmers kicked off from the edge.  
  
It was intriguing to watch since all of them seemed to keep the same pace as one another but at the turn Makoto’s team was ahead of the others and when the guy reached the wall he was slightly faster than the one from Haruka’s team. The tempo seemed to rise and from all around her she heard the different teams yell and cheer each other on and when the last freestyle guy finished another signal of the whistle blew, marking a small pause so the ones doing the second race could get into the water.  
  
Slowly Makoto jumped into the pool and put her hands on the handles and feet on the wall. With deep breaths as if trying to calm down her nerves, she waited for the signal all while trying to avoid getting too much attention.  
  
Silence echoed through the hall with the water’s tiny splashes against the sides being the only thing cutting through it. Makoto found herself slowly counting down, expecting to start any minute and wondering why it was taking so long, before the shrill sound of the whistle had finally resonated through the air and she had kicked off.  
  
Her previous exhaustion was forgotten as soon as she took her first stroke. Putting all strength in her swimming knowing that practice would be over after this, it didn’t take long until she made it across and quickly did the turn. She didn’t know how she was doing, focused on her strokes and kicks, but through the water and the small crowd of swimmer’s she thought she heard Nagisa’s voice cheering on her. With a few last strokes she finally reach the wall and the guy who had stood behind her jumped in. She quickly look to the other lanes and saw that she had been last in backstroke, with Nagisa now in the lead for his team.  
  
She swum to the ledge and quickly got up with a sudden heavy and uncomfortable lump in her throat. There was no surprise that she was out of shape, but seeing as Nagisa was able to keep his lead made her wonder. What if she trained and still didn’t manage to keep up with the others? The thought hadn’t really struck her before and the more she thought about the more uneasy she felt. Just as Nagisa finished his lap and exchanged with a butterfly swimmer, she left the swim hall and walked towards the changing room.  
  
Makoto suddenly didn’t feel like watching the rest of the race, not even realizing that Haruka and Rin were against each other in the last lap.  
  
She quickly showered and changed into her clothes in the small toilet, constantly cautious if anyone where to walk in on her. When she was finished she left the small locker room, just in time to hear the other door slam open, announcing the arrival of either Haruka or Nagisa. When she stood in the entrance once again, she was met by Gou who stood and talked to Seijuro, but when she saw Makoto she walked over to her with the captain in tow.  
  
“You’re done already? That was quick.” Gou said surprised and looked towards the changing room to see if Nagisa and Haruka would be far behind.  
  
“The training was exhausting so I didn’t stay for the last few minutes. I’m going to take some air now, the others should be done in a short while.” Makoto said and quickly brushed past Gou, who worryingly watch her leave, but Makoto didn’t notice nor care at the moment. She hadn’t really been lying about the training, but if she talked about it any more she would only be reminded of how weak she felt and she was actually afraid of crying in front of her friends. If they would ask what was wrong she wouldn’t be able to keep her thoughts to herself and she didn’t want them to ask her questions.  
  
She made it outside and took a few deep breaths. Surprisingly she noticed that no one was around and she finally let herself relax. Things considered, the training had been successful. She had changed into swim clothes and swum with others for the first time in years and nobody had suspected it.  
  
It was always good to see the positive side on things, she reminded herself but she definitely needed to improve her time. She needed to train more.  
  
Suddenly something touched her shoulder and she almost jumped in shock. When she turned her head it was only Haruka, who didn’t look as happy as he’d been earlier this day. In fact he looked rather gloomy. Before Makoto could ask him what was wrong, Haruka shrugged his shoulder towards the campus entrance.  
  
“Let’s go before we miss the train. Nagisa and Gou are waiting for us.” and he started to walk. All of her previous thoughts were immediately replaced with concern for her best friend and she quietly observed him from the corner of her eye, but his expression didn’t give anything away.  
  
When they reached the others Nagisa’s expression matched Haruka’s and the concern grew into worry. However, it wasn’t until they sat on the train that she built up enough courage to ask Haruka what was wrong. With a small sigh he looked up to her.  
  
“Rin got angry at me. When we swam against each other I lost and he started to yell at me. He didn’t see it as a win because we haven’t practised for years.” he mumbled and looked down. He seemed to want to say something more but stopped himself and from the slight frown he had Makoto knew he was keeping something from her and for once she was a bit frustrated at Haruka’s quietness. However, she didn’t push it and he didn’t bring it up.  
  
The atmosphere on the last ten minutes on the train were tense and uncomfortable and so was the walk home. Nagisa seemed to have cheered up a bit after talking to Gou, but Haruka was still the same as when they left Samezuka. While they were walking Makoto couldn’t wait to get home so that she could get away from Haruka and at the same time felt bad for even having that thought.  
  
They finally parted ways with a small ‘goodbye’ and Makoto jogged the last part to her home, eyes stinging as she made her way to her room. She ignored her mother and father’s greeting, threw her bag in the corner and buried herself under her blanket. She had really tried to see the positive side of today, but the last hour had shattered those thoughts. She really couldn’t see herself be able to keep up with the others, Rin and Haruka who used to be such good friends seemed to now have a hard time getting along, and Haruka was keeping things from her. She took a few deep breaths, but she couldn’t keep the frustrated tears from falling down her cheeks and she buried her head in the pillow, her wet swimsuit forgotten in the corner.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise because it's late and not nearly as long as I would have wanted. However, I've been working on another Free! fic (quite different from this one) which I will hopefully post a taste of soon :)

The next day when she met up with Haruka just outside his house, neither him or Makoto acted like the previous day had happened. They didn’t bring it up between them and when they had met up with Nagisa, Rei and Gou, they didn’t either.

Makoto had started jogging after school, tired of waiting for warmer weather. She didn’t tell anyone about it except her parents and she felt silly for keeping it from her friends but she had never been much of a runner and she didn’t want them to find out.

Two weeks later they deemed the pool warm enough and started to swim. She always arrived ten minutes after the others and found herself alone in the locker room. She knew that the others didn’t buy her excuses about why she was late and Haruka especially looked as if he wanted to ask her. Of course he didn’t and when Makoto every practice said she would stay behind a few minutes more, she knew that not only Haruka was worried about her.

However, teaching Rei how to swim was taking up everyone’s time at practice and no one had time to interrogate her or anything. Because it seemed that whatever they did, Rei still could only manage to sink like a rock. At first he had seemed very confident in himself, but as the days progressed and he did not, his smile faded.

“I knew it, it will never work!” he exclaimed after sinking yet again when he tried breaststroke and even if Nagisa assured him that it would take time, Rei seemed to have a hard time believing that.

“How can I be a member of the swim club and not be able to swim? That’s just ridiculous!” he groaned and Makoto heard Gou snort from where she sat, the girl who obviously never had been a fan of swimming.

“Rei-chan, calm down. We will figure something out for you.” the blonde boy said and patted said boy on the back. Both Makoto and Haruka nodded encouraging to the dark-haired boy, who seemed to calm down a bit.

"Let's try another style, backstroke maybe?" Nagisa said and looked over at Makoto who was about to agree when Rei spoke up.

"I don't think backstroke is something for me, I get water in my nose way too fast. Sorry Makoto-senpai." he bowed down a bit as he apologized to her, while she tried to assure him that she didn't mind. After all, not everyone fancied backstroke.

"Maybe you could try butterfly? Though none of us are very good at it, but we still know the basics." Makoto eventually suggested after a while. Seeing as the dark haired boy had tried all of their individual strokes and hadn't managed any of them, butterfly was practically their only hope. If Rei couldn't learn how to swim then Makoto didn't want to force him to be a member, seeing as that was what Nagisa basically had done.

"It's worth a shot, but I have no idea how butterfly is done." Rei mumbled quietly and Nagisa was quick to offer a demonstration. Before anyone could protest Nagisa dived off and then started to swim in an uneven and even awkward tempo, but there was no doubt that it was butterfly. He quickly made it to the other side, turned and swam back and almost crashed into a concentrated Rei. When the blonde emerged he was smiling widely towards the taller boy.

"How was it Rei? You think you can do it?" he asked out of breath and nearly jumped up and down in apparent excitement. Rei himself had a small, nervous smile as he took a tiny step back from the blonde.

"Nagisa, calm down, you're scaring him." Gou suddenly yelled from the bench she sat at. "Show him properly, not even I could see what you did and I see everything from here." she continued and then looked down at her papers before she turned to Haruka and Makoto.

"You two don't need to watch them, you should get back to practice." she said and pointed to her notebook, where she had previously showed them a training regime the were supposed to follow. Even though Gou had never been one for swimming, she was pretty good at making schedules for them.

While Makoto went to the far left side of the pool, Haruka went to the right and Nagisa and Rei was left in the middle. The tension between her and Haruka hadn't decreased at all and if anyone noticed they didn’t say anything. Makoto tried to focus on her swimming but couldn’t help but glance at the others direction. For once it looked like Rei understood what he needed to do, though the question if he would stay afloat or not still lingered.

An hour passed by like minutes when Gou eventually announced that training was over. Makoto had been so concentrated on her own training that she had forgotten to watch how Nagisa and Rei was doing, but judging by the bright smiles both of them had as they left the pool she assumed that it must have worked out. Haruka left the pool shortly afterwards but Makoto decided that she would swim a bit more, hoping to avoid being in the lockers while the rest of them changed.

Moments passed by while Makoto swum, closing her eyes and feeling at ease for the first time in two weeks. Until Gou called her name. A bit startled Makoto stopped and stood up on her feet in the pool while turning her head towards the girl.

“Aren’t you going too? You need the rest so you won’t wear yourself out.” Gou said to her and when Makoto looked at the clock on the clubrooms wall she realized that she had been here alone the last 45 minutes.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice the time.” she was quick to apologise as she swum to the ledge and jumped out of the pool and quickly wrapped a towel around her shoulders as the chilling wind passed by.

“You should go home, I’ll lock the doors.” Makoto said as she sent a reassuring smile to the other. She felt kind of bad that Gou had probably stayed behind for her sake and knew that the younger one would just brush it off. Luckily for her conscience, Gou let out a small smile and gave her the keys without any protest.

“Thanks, I’m just gonna get my papers before I leave.” Gou said and walked in and out of her office with a bunch of papers in her hands. Makoto wanted to ask what all those were for but she had her suspicions that they were training regimes. Gou cheerfully waved at her in goodbye and left through the gate.

When Makoto couldn’t see nor hear Gou any more, she dropped her towel and the keys and climbed into the pool again. She immediately laid down on her back and started swimming laps again.

She was starting to feel the strain in her muscles that reminded her of her run earlier this morning and also practice, but she wanted to become stronger. Again, she felt a gnawing in her chest that told her this wasn’t going to solve it, but she continued to swim. How else was she going to get better?

About an hour later, her arms and legs felt numb and she exited the pool for real this time. An hour after that, she was finally home after jogging around town and collapsed on her bed. She had ignored the worrying faces of her mother and father during supper and when Ran and Ren had asked her to play video-games with her she had apologised and said that she was tired. Even though she didn’t want them to worry about her, because through the exhaustion she felt remotely fine, she knew that she probably worried them more than ever right now.


	9. Chapter 9

“Get up from the pool Makoto." Haruka said about a week later during practice. They were practically halfway through and had just taken the obligatory rest. In fact, Makoto had just jumped in the pool again when he had called out. "I need to talk to you." he nudged towards the locker rooms and Makoto threw a quick glance towards the second years, who was once again immersed in practice.

Having no idea what he wanted, she hesitated visibly before she swam to the ledge and heaved herself up and followed him inside, away from the others who's attention was now at them. When the door was closed, Haruka turned to her.

"When were you going to tell us?" he said and Makoto felt herself freeze. She'd been found out? After all these years, Haruka now knew? She couldn't move or meet his eyes, yet she managed to croak out "Tell you what?" even though it was probably futile. Haruka took a step closer to her and she took a step back. At least he didn’t look angry.

“I saw you running yesterday and Gou told me that you’ve been staying late after practice when she leaves. You’re overworking yourself.” Haruka said with a worried frown on his face.

“I- what?” she said now in surprise. She hadn’t been found out after all. But still, he had seen her jogging? Why on earth would he call her out for that? “So I have been exercising a bit to get in shape-”

“This exercising is not healthy, you should know that. I talked to your mom and she’s worried about you. Even Rei and Nagisa have seen how tired you look and if you continue you will end up hurting yourself.”

She knew that already. She’d seen her mom’s looks, how Rei and Nagisa always seemed to hesitate before leaving, how Gou seemed more reluctant to give her the keys when she promised to lock up. How Haruka himself had tried to make her walk with him home, even though she had politely refused. She knew all that but she still stayed to swim an extra hour, still went out jogging late in the evening when she came home.

“I’m fine Haru, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t know I could handle it.” she still felt too slow. She wouldn’t be able to keep up with them, she was certain of it. He did not look convinced but Makoto didn’t want to discuss it any more. She knew she was wrong, but admitting it would put all her hard work aside.

“Really, I’m fine, drop it. I’m gonna go swim some more now and we can talk after practice.” she said and without waiting for an answer left the locker room and jumped into the pool while ignoring the confused looks from the others.

They didn’t talk after practice, since Makoto yet again stayed behind and she had to eat her words up two days later when she fainted. 

Fortunately for her, she had only blacked out for a minute or so. Unfortunately for her, it was during practice and everyone witnessed it.

Gou had just announced that they would rest for ten minutes and Makoto had reluctantly made her way to the edge of the pool. However, when she had heaved herself up and out of the water, she barely had time to stand before dizziness took over and she saw dark spots forming in her eyes. What felt like seconds later, she had opened her eyes and was met with the worried faces of the whole team. She was sitting on the ground, the only thing keeping her from not laying down was a warm hand on her upper back.

“What happened?” she asked with a slightly shaky voice, even if she dreaded the answer. A heavy silence hung in the air and Makoto saw Rei and Nagisa exchange looks between them while Haruka, who was the owner of the hand, looked at Gou and nodded.

“You blacked out for a while.” the red-headed said. Before she could continue to talk, Nagisa took a step closer.

“You need to stop exhausting yourself like that Mako-chan!” the blonde hastily said and suddenly Rei also stepped in. “While training is important, rest and healthy food is just as much. If you continue like this chances are big that you’ll hurt yourself, Makoto-senpai!”

All of them looked at her with equally worried expressions and she saw Haruka nod beside her. She felt a pang of guilt hit her hard when she realized that she was the reason they were worried. If she still hadn’t been a bit dizzy she would probably had been as well.

“I’m sorry.” she said “For making you worry about me. I was stupid for doing that. You were all so good when we practised at Samezuka, and I felt like I couldn’t keep up with you, so I thought that if I shaped up a bit I could swim in your tempo.” she avoided their eyes and looked down in the ground.

“Makoto, that training was our first and everyone was out of shape. Haruka lost to Rin after you left.” Gou said and Makoto looked at Haruka in surprise, who only nodded slightly, seeming to be embarrassed about it. “But he has improved a lot and the same goes for you. Though if you keep straining yourself you’ll hurt yourself, just like Rei-kun said.” she looked at Makoto with kind but stern eyes and Makoto couldn’t help but nod to her.

“We’ll call it a day so get home, eat something and rest. Okay?” she said and Makoto nodded yet again. She didn’t know if she had improved as Gou said, but she trusted the younger on this.

“If you still want to go jogging maybe we can go together? It’s better than sitting at home with nothing to do.” Haruka said beside her. She knew that he probably wanted to make sure that she didn’t overdo it, but she saw it as a kind gesture and said ‘sure’.

Though when all the others left for the locker room this time, Makoto said she just wanted to rest a bit more. She wouldn’t jump into the water, but Gou sat beside her and discussed different techniques until Makoto saw her chance to go change. She probably wouldn’t be left alone by the pool for a long time now, but they had a valid reason. She had a hard time trusting herself too.

 

A few weeks had passed since Makoto had been confronted and she felt a lot better. The training afterwards she had swum while Gou clocked her and she had improved. Not by little, but actually by a lot. She had even raced against Nagisa and when she had seen him pouting at his loss, her confidence had spiked to the top. The blonde had stopped sulking as soon as he had beaten Rei in a race and had given the glass-clad boy tips on how to dive. It was about time somebody learned him, since he had tried himself when he thought nobody was looking. Of course, they all had been watching him fall flat on the surface of the water and they had all shared a good laugh from it.

She was making her way from Haruka’s house where they had studied for the upcoming math test. In her opinion she had no use of the math she had right now and life would be so much easier if she only had to use addition and subtraction. The sun hid behind clouds and the wind was a bit chilly but overall it was a nice day. When she finally arrived home and opened the door she was greeted by her siblings who stumbled in to the hall with big smiles.

“Brother, we missed you.” Ren said to her before he jumped forward and hugged her. Ran switched places with him as soon as he pulled away. Though both of them knew of her secret, she had asked them to address her as their older brother. In that case they wouldn’t accidentally say wrong when she had friends over. Of course, the only friend she ever had over was Haruka, but she didn’t want to risk it.

“Hello guys. What have you been up to while I was gone?” Makoto asked them as soon as she had managed to take off her shoes and actually stepped inside, which proved to be quite a task.

“We’ve been bored to death. We could have come with you and played with Haru.” Ran said pouting and Ren nodded in agreement. They had actually come along several times before, but it always ended up with them wanting attention and distracting the two of them from actually doing any homework at all.

“You know that we need to study and it’s difficult to do when you only want to play.” Makoto said in a matter-of-fact tone to them and none of them answered, clearly knowing what she meant. “Besides, don’t you guys have homework to do?” she added and had to bite down a chuckle when she saw her sibling’s eyes widen in realization.

“Oh no, we forgot!” they said in unison while looking at each other. Then they both turned to Makoto. “Can you help us? It’s an English assignment and we have just started learning the language.” Ren pleaded to her and despite knowing that her own English was very limited, she nodded to them with a smile.

“Makoto, you’ve got mail, it’s on the dinner table.” their mom’s voice suddenly called from the kitchen. Frowning a bit, because she rarely got mail, she ushered the twins to go fetch their books while she made her way to the kitchen. Just as promised, there was a letter addressed to her on the table, though it looked handwritten. Who on earth sent letters instead of e-mails nowadays?

Her mom acknowledged her entrance to the room with a smile before she turned around and hacked some vegetables. Makoto took the letter and made her way upstairs, wanting to change to her sweatpants if she were to help the twins. When she finally settled on her desk she brought up the letter in front of her and inspected it. It was just her name and address on the outside and a post stamp. No sender.

She opened it carefully but still managed to rip the envelope, and she eventually settled with tearing up the sealed paper. Inside was a piece of folded paper from a notebook and she curiously took it out. There was nothing written on the outside of the paper so she unfolded it.

She froze in place and stared at the words written in ink in the middle of the paper and she dropped the paper like it burned her. The words seemed to be glaring at her and she tried to look away from them, but found herself unable to.

‘I know your secret. Isn’t it time to stop pretending, Makoto?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. It's short. It's shitty. But I had to update since it's been so long. I hope it's not a complete dissappointment ;-;


	10. Chapter 10

“What’s wrong Makoto?” not even five minutes had passed on their way to school until Haruka had noticed something was off. Makoto wondered what gave her away, but Haruka was probably just a bit more attentive nowadays. She couldn’t really blame him.

“It’s nothing too serious...” she trailed off and glanced sideways. Haruka was looking at her with concern and maybe a little hurt, and she realised that she more often than not hid things from him. Not just her big secret, but small seemingly insignificant things that could be enough to reveal it.

“You know you can tell me anything.” he said to her.

“It’s just that,” she looked the other way and took a deep breath. Should she tell him about the letter? That was probably an awful idea. But she wanted to tell someone, and Haruka was her best friend. She glanced sideways and Haruka still looked at her.

“I got an uncomfortable letter yesterday.” as soon as her words left her mouth she regretted them. “I mean, it was a confession from a girl.” she added quickly and felt her pulse quicken. Haruka kept looking at her, a little bit confused. “It was a girl I don’t even know.” she spluttered out and felt more and more like panicking. She knew she was no good liar, Haruka could always tell.

“Really? Why was it uncomfortable?” he asked her casually and Makoto tried to find something to say fast. The tone Haruka was using told her that he knew she was lying, but since he didn’t outright say it she was going to continue. At least then she could pretend that he believed it.

“It was... A very personal and detailed letter. Embarrassing too.” she said and felt her cheeks heat up a bit. In the corner of her eye she could see Haruka nod a bit.

“Well, anyone would be uncomfortable by that.” he said. Makoto nodded slightly in agreement.

She immediately felt horrible. She hated lying. She disliked the fact that Haruka let her. Maybe he was just trying to make her feel better by not pressing for answers, but the things she had refrained from telling him had grown like a balloon. She wondered if it would someday burst all at once. Everything from her first day of school here in Iwatobi to the letter from yesterday.

However, she didn’t say anything the rest of the walk and he didn’t either. The silence was heavy and Makoto felt an all too familiar guilt form in her chest. In a way she knew that she couldn’t hide it forever, but she would do it for as long as it would take.

She didn’t want to think of what would happen if her friends found out.

The day seemed to drag on forever and when the last lesson finally came to an end both Makoto and Haruka hurried to the swim-club. It was not surprising that Nagisa, Rei and Gou was already there when they arrived. What was surprising was that they hadn’t changed into their swimwear yet.

“Hi guys, what’s going on?” Makoto asked as she slid her bag off her shoulder to the bench in the locker room. Gou, who had her hands behind her back brought them in front of her, presenting a poster of some sort.

“Tada!” Gou said and when Makoto leaned forward a bit she had to squint her eyes to see what it said.

“A swimming competition?” she said in question and Gou eagerly nodded. Nagisa and Rei nodded as well, obviously having already heard these news earlier.

“It is a small competition leading up to nationals, but if it comes to that well take it from there. I thought since we have practised a lot it could be fun to test it out?” Gou continued to talk and glanced back and forth between Makoto and Haruka.

“I don’t compete.” Haruka said and Makoto wasn’t really surprised by that statement. Gou frowned at that, but didn’t question it. She turned to Makoto instead with a smile.

“How about you then? Both Nagisa and Rei agreed to sign up for at least one event. It’s just for fun and you’ll see that the training has paid off.” she sounded awfully excited as she waved the poster in front of her.

“Come on Mako-chan! You too Haru-chan! We could at least sign up for the relay.” Nagisa nearly shouted behind Gou, flailing his arms in excitement as he looked at Rei as if asking for approval, and the other did not disappoint.

“I for once agree with Nagisa, I’ve wanted to meet other butterfly-swimmers for a while now.” Rei said as he adjusted his glasses with a smirk, but when he noticed Makoto’s surprised expression, he seemed to get nervous as his smile dropped.

“Not that I doubt any of your skills in that area, but I would like to swim against those with my stroke. No offence.” Rei hurried as he looked apologetic, but Nagisa just slapped him hard on his back with a chuckle.

“No one is offended Rei-chan, we all understand what you mean.” he said heartily while Rei made a grimace, trying to recover from the slap and managing to look really awkward. “As I said, if you don’t want to swim in the individual classes, we might still be able to do the relay.” Nagisa spoke to both of them but his eyes rested on Haruka, knowing that he was probably the hardest to convince out of them.

“Then I’ll consider signing up for the backstroke.” Makoto said, and for once she didn’t feel nervous about swimming in public. It had been ages since the last time she had competed, if she didn’t count Samezuka, and if she were to be honest she had been waiting for something to happen in the swim club. Sure practice was fun, but since they hadn’t really had a goal or purpose, it was starting to get a bit boring.

Besides, the thought of maybe swimming in a relay again with Haruka and Nagisa was very tempting. She had thought about it before, of course, but Haruka’s indifference to competing was a bit of a let down. But when she glanced at him where he stood beside her, she saw that twinkle in his eye that was reserved for water. Only now she believed it was because of the relay being mentioned. Perhaps he had missed it too.

“I don’t swim for time or anything. Although, I’ll consider the relay.” Haruka said as an afterthought and Makoto couldn’t hide her smile. She heard Gou mumble that it was only for fun while Nagisa and Rei grinned at each other and Makoto didn’t miss the discreet high-five they both shared.

“So are we jumping in the pool today or not?” Haruka said after some silence while he started to pull off his shirt, but Gou held up her hand in front of her in warning.

“We aren’t actually. I don’t remember the last time we cleaned here so I decided we could take this day off from swimming. We need to sweep the whole area and I also brought some nets, so we can clean the pool.” Gou said and sounded all too cheerful. Makoto noticed that neither Nagisa nor Rei complained. In fact, they already had a broom each and was on their way down to the lockers.

Makoto wondered what else the three first-years conspired about when they weren’t here.

Fortunately, they were done in no time, and although Haruka gladly hopped into the pool afterwards while Gou protested, Makoto didn’t feel like swimming today. It could do her good to actually take a day off.

“Hey Makoto, can I talk with you for a while?” From the corner of her eye she saw Nagisa standing behind her. She was a bit surprised that he hadn’t jumped into the pool as well. She wondered if Nagisa had caught up to something.

“Well, I was planning on going home now...” she trailed off, but Nagisa was quick to grab an opportunity.

“Me too, I have to study for a test.” Nagisa said, although it sounded rushed and untrue.

“Then we can take it on the way to the station perhaps? I’ll just put away the brooms and nets first and then we can meet outside. Okay?” she said to him and he nodded with a small smile. He practically bounced in his steps as he went to the locker room and Makoto felt a bit uneasy. Nagisa and she rarely talked when they weren’t with Haruka or Rei, and both of them were in the pool swimming.

She hurriedly put away all of the cleaning supplies in the storage closet and walked through the empty locker room, picking up her bag on the way. Nagisa stood just outside the door with his own bag slung over his shoulder. Makoto wondered if she should tell the other’s they were leaving earlier, but they had probably seen them go.

They started to walk in silence and the atmosphere changed. It was unusual for the two of them walking home together, and the silence made it obvious that they usually didn’t talk. They never seemed to have problems with that whenever a third part was included.

Nagisa suddenly stopped walking and Makoto noticed after a few steps. She turned around and looked at him questioningly. Meanwhile Nagisa was glancing over his shoulders and around them, as if to see if someone else were there. When he realised that the two of them were alone, he took a step forward and said in a low voice, not quite whispering:

“I didn’t want to tell anyone about this, but I really need to get it off my chest, before it crushes me.” For the first time since Makoto had gotten to know Nagisa, he almost looked scared. To say that Makoto was worried was an understatement.

“I haven’t told anybody about this, but I somehow feel that you understand what it’s like hide things for too long.” Nagisa continued and she felt her heart skip a beat before she realized that he had meant her exaggerated training.

There was a pause and Makoto waited almost anxiously for Nagisa to just say what he wanted. When he did though, she felt a bit shocked.

”I like Rei, more than I should.” he said. “I guess you could say it’s leaning more towards love.” Nagisa said and glanced at Makoto, almost looking ashamed.

“That’s... well, not completely unexpected I guess.” Makoto managed to say. Sure she was a bit surprised, but when she had barely seen the two of them separate since they started the swim-club.

“It’s not?” Nagisa asked, this time with a surprised look on his face. “Do you think Rei knows?”

Makoto pondered the question for a bit. Honestly she hadn’t thought of it. The boy was pretty smart, but this seemed like something he wouldn’t think about.

“I don’t know, have you said something when you’ve been alone with him?” she asked after a short silence.

“Well no. This is the first time I tell anyone.” He looked as if he hadn’t even thought about it and Makoto couldn’t help but wonder what made him bring it up. As if he had read her mind, he answered the question. “You always get love letters and girls confess to you all the time.”

“You know that it never gets further than that. Is there another reason that you told me?” Makoto wasn’t sure where Nagisa where getting with this conversation and she felt even more compelled to tell him she was the wrong person to ask these kinds of things.

“I know. It’s just that, I want Rei to know. I just don’t know how to tell him.” Nagisa finally managed to say while looking at the ground. “I thought that maybe you would be able to help me.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” That was one thing Makoto definitely didn’t want to do and Nagisa shook his head at that to her relief.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I just want some pointers or something.” he looked from the ground and Makoto must have worn a pained expression or something, because Nagisa seemed to freeze.

“Maybe we can talk about this another day? I should hurry to the station or I might miss the train.” Nagisa suddenly said as he brought up his mobile, probably checking the time. Without waiting for an answer he walked around Makoto and walked in hurried steps. Makoto watched as he disappeared farther and farther away until he was out of sight.

She took out her own mobile and looked at the clock. The train wouldn’t arrive for another hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. It's an update, sort of a filler you could say. It's been too long since I wrote on this fic and I just wanted an update.


	11. Chapter 11

After Nagisa had left, it had taken her a few minutes to finally move herself. She avoided going to the station, since she didn’t need to take the train and she didn’t want to risk making Nagisa more uncomfortable.

After walking for twenty minutes she finally reached her front door, only to find it unlocked. She opened it and saw her mom’s and her sibling’s shoes placed neatly just inside, but a pair of worn sneakers was placed next to them, terribly out of place and too big for any of the other three’s feet. She wondered if she knew whomever was here.

”You’re home early Makoto.” her mother suddenly showed up from behind the kitchen door. Makoto jumped a bit in surprise but before she could say hello, her mother spoke again.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Rin was back from Australia?” she said out of the blue and Makoto took a while before she answered, not expecting that question.

“I must have forgotten, but why do you bring it up now?” she answered with a confused frown as she stepped out of her shoes. It’s not that she had forgotten, but it had never been brought up and since Rin wasn’t on obviously good terms with either of them it didn’t seem that important.

“He showed up on our doorstep and asked if you were home. I said you were probably on your way, so I let him in. He’s in the kitchen.” as soon as the words left her mother’s mouth, the shoes in the hall suddenly had a face to them. Makoto froze. Last time she had seen Rin was during their practice with Samezuka, and no one had left in a good mood. Was it about Haruka? He had questioned why he hung out with Makoto and Nagisa, so why would he come to her in that case?

Had she known from the start that he was here, she might have sneaked up to her room and waited until he left. But now he had probably heard their whole conversation, or at least heard her come through the door, so hiding was not an option unless she wanted to make an ass out of herself.

“Tell him to come to my room.” she said, not really in the mood for talking to Rin. However, she had a feeling that whatever he wanted to say should be said in private, and the kitchen was far from private. “The one opposite from my old.” she added when she realized that Rin hadn’t been here since they were eleven years old.

Her mother nodded to her and went back to the kitchen, while Makoto walked up the stairs, feeling a headache slowly forming at the back of her head. First Nagisa unloading his worries on her, now Rin was in her house and she had no idea what he wanted. Maybe he wanted the trophy back, even though he had been the one to throw it away.

She hadn’t even put down her bag when Rin suddenly stood outside the door-frame. Their eyes met as Rin awkwardly knocked on the wide-opened door and by habit Makoto said come in.

The whole scene seemed so out of place. Last time they had seen each other was when they had been in the same team that practice, and the last time she had heard of him he had yelled at Haruka. Seeing him stand inside her room, his gaze shifting around the room, seemed pretty laughable. She didn’t know what she expected. Maybe the cold glare he had given her when they had bought swimsuits, perhaps even him shouting at her.

However, nothing of the sorts happened. Instead, he looked out of place, not avoiding eye-contact but not seeking it either. With a small sigh Makoto sat down on her bed and placed the bag on the floor in front of her.

“You can sit down if you’d like.” she said and pointed to the chair at her desk. Rin didn’t move at all except for a small shake of his head.

“Thank you but I’ll stand.” he replied and Makoto didn’t know what else to say any more. Starting their first real conversation in over five years with ‘Why are you being such an asshole to everyone?’ didn’t seem like an entirely good idea. Instead, she settled on the thing she wondered the most right now.

“So, what did you want?” it came out more cold than she intended and she blamed the oncoming headache for that. Rin didn’t answer right away, still glancing at things in Makoto’s room and she couldn’t help but getting a little bit irritated. Had she invited him to her home and her room, she probably wouldn’t care, but now when he had come here unannounced, pretty much uninvited as well, she didn’t want him staring at her things. Rin’s eyes eventually fixed themselves on her, his expression calm and voice serious.

“I’m worried about you.” he said. No playful smile afterwards or anything.

It took a while for her to process what he had said and her mind swirled around her head. Had Gou mentioned her crazy training to him? Had they started talking with each other again? Furthermore, she had a hard time believing that Rin was truthful with what he said, considering how much of an ass he’d been lately.

“If it’s about me overworking, we’ve already solved it, so there’s no need to worry.” she said and then quickly added “and my grades are not that bad, I’ll manage.”

Rin didn’t seem to know anything about her training, as he looked a bit shocked when she mentioned it. If he hadn’t known about that, what was it that made him worried?

It dawned on her just before Rin said those next words, and her whole body froze.

“I know that you’re a girl. I wrote the note.” he said quietly, but to Makoto it was as if he had shouted it to her.

Rin knew. She had been so worried that anyone would find out and one had actually managed to do that. Her throat clogged up and she suddenly felt claustrophobic, as if the room was smaller than a few seconds ago.

“You need to tell everyone, you can’t go around lying to them.” Rin continued and had taken a step closer to her, but Makoto couldn’t hear it, as if her ears stopped working. Only one thought swirled through her head and she almost shouted it out.

“How did you know?” her head was a mess and she didn’t even think about denying it, not being able to think straight at all. Even though her throat was clogging up and she found it almost painful to breathe, she couldn’t think about anything other than that her secret was found out. She had always thought if someone found out it would probably not be so bad, but at the same time she had been scared of being found out all these years and suddenly Rin knows. All that fear and anxiousness she had felt over the years pooled inside her and was now overflowing.

“I’ve known since before I left Japan.” he said, but didn’t elaborate. He took a step closer to her with a worried and almost scared expression, and she tried to back away like a cornered animal, wrapping her arms around her and when she realized she had held her breath, she inhaled deeply.

“Get out.” she yelled, not bothered with who heard it. Rin stopped, hesitating and Makoto suddenly felt her panic be replaced by anger. Anger meant for herself, for getting this upset. But that didn't matter, because she turned that anger to Rin instead. “Get out of my room!” she yelled again and glared at Rin, who wore a sad and guilty expression, but turned around nonetheless.

Only when Rin had left the room and shut the door, his footsteps echoing down the stairs, did Makoto noticed that her nails where digging into her arm and that tears where streaming down her face. Her head started to throb painfully, the headache now very apparent.

She took a few minutes to calm down, but she couldn’t help that she was still shaking where she sat in her bed. Her mom must have surely heard her and seen Rin leave, but there was no sign of her coming to her room right now. Makoto couldn’t help but feel as if that would be for the best.

She slowly laid down on her back on the bed, her hands covering her eyes and taking a few shaky breaths. When her mind started to clear up, the anger disappeared and was replaced with sadness and anxiety.

What was Rin thinking, coming now and telling her that he had known about her for years? Why now of all times? What if Rin had told the others? Makoto discarded that thought, he wouldn’t have said that she should stop lying in that case.

She was scared. For the first time in years she felt a hopelessness inside her as she realized what would happen if she told Haruka, Nagisa, Rei and Gou.

“They will hate me for sure.” she whispered to herself as her gaze was stuck to the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been extremely busy with life and have had more downs than ups during this time, so I've been very reluctant to actually write something. However, it's getting a bit better and I managed to write a short chapter. I apologise for spelling errors. It's starting to wrap up, there's probably a few chapters left depending on how I split them.


	12. Chapter 12

Makoto arrived at the swim club with caution. She was afraid that Rin might have told everyone, even though a big part of her knew that he would never spill secrets like that. Well, except to the one whose secret it was. Fortunately it didn’t seem like Rin had said anything, since everyone was acting as normal as they used to.

Nagisa and Haruka was already in the pool, swimming laps while Gou yelled at them to hurry up and Rei stood on the side and stretched. Makoto quickly changed into her swimsuit and greeted everyone. She had just managed to jump into the pool when Gou approached her.

“I have good news. Haruka-senpai have decided to join the relay with you guys, if you are still up for it?” she said enthusiastically while holding a clipboard, pen ready in her other hand. She probably had the registration form on that clipboard. Makoto found herself smiling wide at that. She hadn’t expected Haruka to actually participate in the relay, despite what he had said.

“Of course I am still up for it! It will be fun. Also, could you sign me up for the 100 meter backstroke?” she was still excited to compete in her own stroke, no matter what would happen. The worry Rin brought her wouldn’t stand in her way, she would have to deal with that later.

“I already did, but this means the relay will happen. I’ll go tell the other’s, but first, this is your training schedule for today.” She handed a note to Makoto who accepted it carefully, mindful of her wet hands. When Gou had walked off Makoto groaned audibly, seeing as today was just stamina training.

However, she knew better than to complain. Gou worked equally hard as they did, researching techniques and other training regimen. Their training was always balanced, and a lot better than what Makoto herself did before.

Besides, complaining usually ended up with a few extra laps and Makoto did not look forward to that. So she started swimming without protest.

As usual Gou was a fair but tough coach, leaving Makoto's arms and legs burning by the time training was over. Rei and Nagisa also seemed tired to the bone but Haruka was still swimming laps.

”Thanks for today Gou-chan, don’t forget to turn in those papers for us. I’m looking forward to compete in the relay.” Nagisa said with a bow, and Makoto was puzzled at how polite he seemed.

“Likewise for me, and I am also looking forward to my first real swimming competition. I expect to see a lot of beautiful performances.” Rei also said and bowed as well. Makoto wondered if he would have time to be impressed or if he would be a nerve-wreck. Both Nagisa and Rei then left for the locker room and Gou turned around to see Haruka still in the pool. 

“Haruka-senpai, training is over, you need to get up!” Gou yelled to the boy, who seemed to mutter to himself, before he reluctantly swum to the ledge and stepped out of the pool.

“I wasn’t finished.” Makoto heard him murmur as he walked passed her, but he still smiled at her nonetheless. It was a nice change from how he had been. She had seen him smile more and more nowadays, especially after her disastrous training.

Usually by this time she would clean up a bit before heading to the locker room, so she was sure she wouldn’t walk in on the boys, but she was surprised when Gou called for her.

"Makoto-senpai, I'm sorry to bother you, but can you help me with the cover?" Gou asked as she walked to the end of the pool. Makoto didn't know that they had a cover and her confusion must have shown.

"I talked to the principal who agreed to help us. I figured a cover would be good for the pool, so we don’t have to go with nets every week. To save us some time basically.” she had a smile on her face and Makoto was yet again reminded of her dedication to the swim club.

“That’s great.” Makoto said as she was led to Gou’s office. Inside was a big roll of plastic, taking up the small space completely.

“Grab a hold of that end and I’ll take this.” she did as instructed and Gou counted down. “Three, two, one, go!”

It was quite heavy and Makoto’s arms protested a bit, but they managed to bring it to the end of the pool. She was surprised to see that there were already fastenings in the ground.

“Okay, there should be some strings on the edge... There. We need to fasten them.” Gou said as she took some strings and tied secured them, and Makoto followed her example. Then they took the rest of the cover and rolled it out across the pool, securing the strings on the other side. The cover was not pretty, but it would be really practical. 

“Thank you for your help.” Gou said with a smile as she bowed and Makoto waved her hands dismissively.

“You don’t need to thank me, I’m the captain after all. I should help out, I should really do much more than you do. So thank you Kou.” The girl really needed more appreciation, Makoto thought as they parted ways, Gou went back to her office and Makoto went into the locker room.

As usual, it was completely empty, as the other boys were already done. With a heavy sigh that carried her tiredness she stripped off her clothes and went to the shower. While the water flowed down on her she couldn't help but think of yesterday. How she had panicked and yelled at Rin, even though he hadn't really done anything wrong. She knew that she couldn't keep this up forever, but what would that mean for her? 

She didn't want to live as a girl, that didn't feel right after all these years. And what about her friends? Surely they would feel betrayed, maybe even despise her if they found out she had lied to them.

She turned the water off and took a deep breath as she felt her throat clog up a bit. Now was not the time to be worried about that, she would need to take care of that when the time came.

Positive thoughts. That’s what she should have. She quickly dried herself of with the towel, thankful of her short hair making it easier, and thought about the competition. She didn’t know a lot about it, come to think of it. Gou had said that it was a small competition, a preliminary to the nationals. Though she realized as she slipped into her jeans, she had no idea when and where it would take place. She would have to ask Gou next time she saw her.

She was just about to on her binder that her father had purchased for her, when she heard a sudden noise behind her and she instinctively turned around.

Only to stare right at Haruka who stood at the door. It took a moment before she realized that he was staring at her in shock, and another until she realized her chest was completely exposed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a long time (no excuses) but I hope that a cliffhanger will keep me going :P for those who read "The World Ends With Me", I'm trying hard to update it.


	13. Chapter 13

She forgot how to breath. That was the only logical explanation as to why she started feeling dizzy. The room seemed to shrink around her and the exit stretched out farther away. She needed to get out of here as fast as possible. She needed to get out.

She bolted across the room and through the door, knocking a still stunned Haruka out of her way. Or at least she thought she had bumped in to something, guessing it was Haruka. She couldn’t think straight. She couldn’t even breathe.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise for her that she didn’t get that far away from the locker room, she hadn’t planned on getting anywhere but away, before she tripped over her own feet and fell to the ground. Her hands took the biggest damage, scraping away skin when they were dragged against the gravel, but the sudden pain gave her back her breath and she sucked in air to her burning lungs.

She scrambled to her feet, but couldn’t get up, tripping , still breathing in a fast, irregular pattern and she realized she was panicking. Someone approached her from her right, but she couldn’t see who it was, eyes blurry.

“Breathe Makoto.” a worried voice said hurriedly and she did, but her throat burned at the effort. A gentle hand was suddenly on her shoulder and it was so familiar, and she shouldn’t be surprised that it was Haruka who was there, trying to calm her down, but she was, because shouldn’t he hate her?

How long they sat there, she couldn’t tell, only that her breathing evened out after a while. Her eyes where still blurry and she brought up her hands to wipe at them, not surprised that she had cried. She inspected her hands and grimaced. They throbbed and they looked terrible, scraped and bloodied, not to mention dirty. From the corner of her eye she saw Haruka’s torso and his hand on her shoulder.

His jacket was draped over her shoulders and she remembered she hadn’t put on her shirt, not even her binder and she clenched both sides of the jacket together, covering up her chest.

“Are you okay?” Haruka asked her gently, and she glanced up at him. He looked worried, not at all angry and she didn’t know how to respond. This was not how she imagined that he would find out, or react.

“No. I mean- yes, but-” she started and felt lost. She was not okay. Eight years of hiding the truth from her best friend, and not only had he found out but had also seen it for himself. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment but she had ignore that for the time being. “Aren’t you mad at me?” she eventually managed to croak out, her throat sore.

“Why would I be?” Haruka replied, his face calm and his voice almost surprised, which made Makoto wonder for a short second why he would be mad at her, but her own thoughts took over.

“I lied to you, since the day we’ve met, you thought I was a boy and I have never told you the truth.” admitting it out loud felt far worse than when she had thought about it and she had to take a deep breath so she wouldn’t burst out in tears.

“It doesn’t matter to me. Nothing has changed, you are still you, right? Who cares if you are a boy or a girl or anything else. As long as you are happy and in one piece, it doesn’t matter. Though you’re not really in one piece, your hands are bleeding pretty badly.” Haruka said and stood up slowly.

She was still confused, but her hands was indeed bleeding, though not as badly as Haruka claimed. He reached out with his hand and Makoto instinctively reached out to grab it, but hesitated as she saw the dirt and blood on them. Noticing this, Haruka took a hold of her wrist instead and pulled her up from the ground. Her knees hurt and when she glanced down she saw that she had scraped holes in her uniform pants.

“Come on, let’s go back to the club and patch this up.” Haruka said as he glanced at his own jacket over her shoulders. “But first you should get dressed.” he added and Makoto nodded.

She really hadn’t made it far from the locker room, and as soon as they reached the door Haruka gestured for her to go inside.

“I’ll go around to Gou’s office, she has a first-aid kit in there somewhere, come when you’re done.” He said before he closed the door on her. Makoto went on as if on autopilot, putting on her binder and pulling her t-shirt over her, ignoring the pain in her palms and the small blotches of blood they left on the fabric.

She went out through the other door and walked quickly to Gou’s office, where only Haruka waited inside. She hung up his jacket on a hook on the wall and sat down on a chair in front of him, both of them silent as Haruka took a hold of Makoto’s hand and started cleaning of the dirt. She tried not to wince at the sting of pain, taking a deep breath and asking what she had been subconsciously been wondering since they went back to the club.

“So what happens now?” her voice wavered, full of uncertainty and nervousness. Surely he was just as shocked as she was and would soon realize the seriousness of her lie. Hadn’t she mentioned that she had lied for eight years and he had just brushed it off like it was nothing special.

“What do you mean?” Haruka asked her and once again she wasn’t sure what she meant with her question.

“I mean, it can’t go back to how it was. I won’t be able to be in the club anymore, not to mention the competition.” she said and her own words crushed her heart.

“Why should it matter? You’re still who you were an hour ago, just a secret short. Honestly, there’s a ton of things that could have been worse to find out, like if you were dying. I’m glad that’s not the case.” he chuckled nervously at her, as if half expecting her to drop that kind of bomb at him.

Makoto wasn’t used to hearing Haruka talk this much, but she knew he was just trying to make her feel better. And it was working, at least mentally. Her hands stung worse than before, since Haruka had rarely taken care of scrubbed hands. She gently took the cotton-ball from him and started cleaning her own hands in the antiseptic.

There was a prolonged silence between them, but surprisingly enough it wasn’t an uncomfortable, just the usual pleasant silence they always shared.

“I should probably tell the others.” Makoto said out loud, nearly regretting it as the words registered.

“Only if you want to. It doesn’t make a difference anyway. You’re still gonna swim in the club, right?” Haruka said with his eyes following the movement of Makoto’s hands, his own hands tucked inside the pockets of his pants.

Haruka was right. She wasn’t going to leave the club, not over something like this. But even so, she wanted to tell the others. Maybe not right now, but after a night’s rest so she could process it and maybe build up enough confidence.

“Will you be there when I tell them?” she asked and glanced up at Haruka. He nodded at her with a small smile and handed her a band-aid.

“Of course, if you want me to. That’s what friends do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not proof-read nor will it unless there's something seriously wrong with it, enjoy :)


	14. Chapter 14

The following day Makoto was still trying to get used to the idea that Haruka knew, though it was hard. Her friend’s behavior hadn’t changed in the slightest, not from their walk home yesterday, nor when she came to pick him up. It was such an ordinary day that Makoto even believed that she had dreamed about being found out, but then her injured hands reminded her.

Still, she was worried that everyone suddenly knew, and every glance she got from other students fueled her paranoia, until Haruka had told her that it was just that. Paranoia.

On their way to the club, Makoto told Haruka that she would tell the others, even though her stomach twisted at the thought. She really didn’t feel like it, but the more she waited the worse it would get. Besides, if Haruka was with her she could manage. If anyone of them reacted badly, she had no doubts he would help her.

Haruka went in first to change and opened the door for Makoto when he was done.

“Nagisa and Rei are already in the pool. Just say the word.” Haruka said as he went out himself, the sound of the door closing before a splash from the pool was heard. Makoto quickly changed into her swimsuit, not wanting someone to accidentally walk in and repeat yesterday’s events.

As she stepped out into the open, she was greeted by Gou who gave her a new training regime for today. It was a fairly easy one, and since the wind blew a little too chilly, she decided that she would tell them all after practice. To gather her thoughts and get things done. Just in case, she told herself.

The time passed surprisingly quickly, probably because Makoto’s thoughts where all over the place. She found herself sneaking occasional glances to Rei and Nagisa, who were both concentrated on their own training regime. She wondered if Rei did anything else besides butterfly, though she doubted it.

“Alright everyone, let’s wrap it up for today.” Gou shouted from the sidelines and Makoto was quick to jump up from the pool, wrapping herself into her towel. Before Gou could walk away to her office, Makoto called after her.

“Wait Kou.” the younger immediately stopped and met Makoto’s eyes.

“What is it?” she asked with a curious smile, and some of Makoto’s nervousness disappeared. Gou would understand, wouldn’t she? She always took time to listen to all of them, even when she was obviously exhausted.

“I just wondered when the competition was.” Makoto managed to croak out after a short silence. She silently scolded herself for stalling, but she was curious of how much time they had left.

“Oh! That’s right, I forgot to tell you all.” She shouted to Rei and Nagisa before they could make it to the locker room and they both walked over to where Gou stood. “Okay, just so everyone is clear, the competition with the relay is the third next month, which gives us barely three weeks until then.”

“Was there anything else you wondered?” Gou said and looked at all four of them. However, the others would have to wait Makoto decided. It was now or never. She took a deep breath and didn’t realize her words came out of her mouth, almost like she was on autopilot.

“No, but there’s actually... I want to tell everyone something.” she said and waited for their reactions. The three first-years looked at her in concern, no doubt her crazy training schedule was still fresh in all of their minds. They had all gathered in front of her, save for Haruka who stood beside her, giving her his silent support.

“I never intended to let this become such a huge deal, I never intended it to happen in the first place. There’s... Something you should know about me. Something I’ve kept a secret half of my life.” she felt nervous and a bit anxious, looking down on the ground so she didn’t have to see their reactions.

“The truth is, I wasn’t born a boy.” a deep breath. She couldn’t tell what their reactions were, her pulse pounding loud in her ears and her eyes still looking firmly at the ground. “I came to Iwatobi and everyone thought I was a boy, and it just felt right so I went with it. Now it’s been so long and I’ve never been a girl, I’ve always been a boy and it feels right.” she paused, not knowing how she should continue, realizing that she probably couldn’t. 

This was how she felt.

The silence was deafening, more so than her heartbeat, and she finally couldn’t take it. She lifted her head and her gaze swept over the three first-years. They all looked shocked, but not at all angry. Despite Haruka reacting differently, she had expected the others to be angry.

“Oh, so that’s why you never changed at the same time. I just thought you were embarrassed.” Something seemed to have clicked in Nagisa’s mind. Makoto turned to look at him and the shock had turned into thoughtfulness.

“Well it’s good that no one accidentally walked in on you then.” Rei then said with a nervous laugh. At that, Makoto automatically looked to Haruka, who met her eyes, and they both looked away quickly.

“Oh, that must have been awkward. Was that why you told us? So it doesn’t happen again?” Nagisa asked with a grin on his face. Makoto shook her head slightly and caught sight of Rei’s red face. Good that they could all share the awkwardness.

“More like terrifying, but yeah.” she let out a huff of air, trying to stifle her relieved laugh. They didn’t seem mad at all, just like Haruka said and they didn’t question her at all. They accepted her. “And no, it felt wrong to keep something like this from all of you. For longer than I have, anyway. I was afraid of what you would think of me, and I didn’t want to leave the club.” she blurted out, still not quite believing what was happening.

“We would never think less of you for something like that.” Gou was quick to say and the others nodded in agreement. “I think you’re brave to tell us, and you don’t have to leave the club at all. You’re still a boy to us all, that’s not going to change unless you want it too.” she said with a broad smile.

Makoto couldn’t help it, when all the tension in her body disappeared there was nothing left stopping the tears from falling. Relief flooded through her as her worry was drained from her body.

“Makoto, what’s wrong?” Haruka was quick to react as he put a hand to her shoulder, and through the blur she could see the others also coming closer. She shook her head.

“It’s tears of joy, I promise. I’m just so relieved, that’s all.” she said through hiccups, unsure of how much of that they actually heard. Suddenly arms from all directions surrounded her and it took her a second to realize she was in the middle of a group-hug.

“Never be afraid to tell us something. We’re your friends, we’re there for you.” it was Gou who said it, but she heard all the others make sounds of approval.

“Well, not that I don’t like hugs, but we should all go and get dressed now. It’s freezing out here.” Nagisa was the first one to break away from the hug and all the others followed.

“I agree.” Rei replied and they both walked over to the locker room.

“Maybe you should wait with Gou in the office? I’ll tell you when we’re done.” Haruka said and both Makoto and Gou nodded as he walked away.

“He’s right, at least it’s warmer than out here.” Gou said as she opened the door and let Makoto walk first, closing the door behind them. She gesticulated towards one of the chairs in the room and Makoto sat down, wrapping the towel a little tighter over her shoulders as she wiped her eyes with the edge of it.

They sat there quiet for a while in a comfortable silence. Gou was sitting at the desk, which was more of a cheap table they’d managed to borrow from a classroom. She was scribbling some notes on a sheet of paper, and when Makoto peeked it looked like a training schedule.

“Can I ask you something, Makoto?” Makoto hadn’t even realized that Gou had put the pen down and was looking up at her. She didn’t really feel like answering any questions, still a bit paranoid that they weren’t at all okay with who she was. But this was Gou, and despite everything she trusted Gou, because she had never given a reason not to.

“Ask away.” Makoto said with a hesitant smile, telling herself it wouldn’t be anything bad.

“Does Rin know? Have you told him?” she asked and Makoto didn’t know what to make of it. Did it matter to Gou, or was she just curious? Was she one to tell others? Suddenly Makoto regretted telling them all, because even though they were all her friends, she didn’t know if she wanted anyone else to know yet. Just because her friends accepted her didn’t mean that all would.

“He already knew, but I didn’t tell him. Apparently he had known for years.” Gou looked a little surprised at that but nodded anyway. “You know I don’t want you to go around telling anyone about me, right?” Makoto added, feeling slightly panicked. What could she do if Gou ignored that and did it anyway? Nothing probably.

“I would never do that to anyone.” Gou said and almost looked hurt by just the thought of it. “I promise, Makoto. I was just curious.” she paused and Makoto felt bad for being so paranoid.

“This might be a long shot, but since we’re already talking about it, do you know why he’s been such an ass lately? I haven’t seen him since we where at Samezuka, and he won’t tell mom anything over the phone.” she asked her but Makoto hadn’t herself figured out what it was. When he had visited her, he hadn't seemed that angry at all. Just concerned, which was a total difference.

“Do you think it’s connected?” Gou pressed on and at first Makoto didn’t know how being an ass and concerned at the same time could be connected. “You said he’d known for years, yet no one else did, which means he also kept a secret.”

“I don’t quite get why that could be a rightful reason to act like an asshole.” Makoto answered with a frown, but Gou shook her head.

“I didn’t say it gave him the right, but maybe it’s the explanation. I mean, you of all people know how heavy a secret can be. And if you know you can’t tell anyone no matter what, despite wanting to- I mean, I would get pretty frustrated.” Gou finished.

That actually made sense, surprisingly enough. Before Makoto could tell Gou that though, someone knocked on the door and shortly afterwards Haruka peeked in.

“We’re all finished now, so you can go shower now.” he announced, glancing between them before he left again.

It was getting quite cold, sitting with a cold wet towel wrapped around her shoulders, and Makoto stood up, walking to the door.

“I think you might be right Kou. But we won’t know until we ask him ourselves.” she said as she turned the knob.

“I think he might show up at the competition, mom mentioned it. If I don’t see him until then, would you come with me? He might be willing to talk if you and Haruka are with me.” she had apparently thought about this a lot.

“Of course I will.” Makoto said, despite the heavy feeling in her stomach. The last thing she wanted was to meet up with Rin again after their last meeting. But she needed too, for Gou’s sake, and mostly for her own as well. “That’s what friends do.” she finished with a strained smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update yay. Not edited really.


	15. Chapter 15

Three weeks passed too quickly, and yet not fast enough. They all worked on their own training regimes, even Haruka had apparently signed up for one of the freestyle races. They all had trained together for the relay as well, but when the day for the competition came Makoto felt like she hadn’t prepared at all. Both Nagisa and Haruka assured her that it was just nerves, but it wasn’t until she saw Rei being more nervous than her that she suddenly found her calm.

Funny how that works.

They had all taken the train early in the morning and from the station it had barely been a kilometer to the big indoor swimming pool. Although it was a preliminary for nationals, the atmosphere inside was light and after they had applied for their races, even Rei started to relax a bit more.

“There’s a lot of people here today,” Nagisa said as he looked at the start order. “but we all are way too early. I thought you said nine o’ clock Gou-chan?” he threw an accusing glance towards their manager, whose smile instantly turned into a frown.

“I wasn’t lying. See,” she said and leaned over to point at the list in Nagisa’s hands. “the first race starts in fifteen minutes. That your first race starts at eleven isn’t something I knew about. However you see it, you can’t blame me.“ she huffed, slightly annoyed.

”We don’t need to yell at each other.” Makoto said quietly when she noticed that a few persons had turned to look at them. She sneaked a peak at the list, and true to her word, the first of their races would be at eleven, starting with Rei’s butterfly. She didn’t envy him one bit.

“Makoto-senpai is right. We should go and find the locker rooms or watch the other races in the meantime.” Rei suddenly said after being quiet since they left the station. From the corner of her eye Makoto saw Haruka nod.

They all agreed to sit in the audience, which for the moment was almost empty this early. The first ones to swim seemed to be kids, from what Makoto could see they seemed to be as old as her siblings. When she checked the program again, most of the classes seemed to be age-oriented. That explained why most of their own races where before noon.

She wasn’t used to competitions at all.

For about twenty minutes they sat there, when Gou suddenly walked up from her seat. Curious as to why, Makoto glanced up at her, finding her eyes fixated on the entrance where a group of teenagers had walked in. It took a moment for her to realize they where wearing Samezuka’s training jackets over them, and another moment for her to realize Gou was looking at her and Haruka with a silent question.

Without even hearing her speak, Makoto nodded at her and didn’t even need to tell Haruka before he too stood up, the three of them making their way past the others.

“Where are you guys going?” Nagisa asked her when he saw them leaving.

"We'll be right back." Makoto whispered to the two confused teenagers, who reluctantly stayed behind. She felt kind of bad to leave Nagisa out of this, since he would probably want to come with them of she mentioned Rin. However, Gou had asked her and Haruka, and it was her decision if Nagisa should know or not. Plus it might be good to have someone stay with Rei, since he still seemed nervous.

The three of them made their way down and towards the entrance. Gou walked passed the students from Samezuka, none of them seemed to be anyone they recognized. In the reception however Samezuka’s coach stood. Makoto couldn't remember his name and nearly panicked when he noticed them coming towards him.

"Gou-chan, I didn't knew you'd be here." he glanced at Haruka and Makoto "Long time no see, you're here to race?" he smiled at them.

"Hi Seijuro-senpai, I'm sorry to be direct, but is my brother here today?" Gou said and Makoto felt as if a puzzle piece clicked on place when she heard the name.

"He went down the hallway, said he wanted to find some place quiet." Seijuro answered, and looked surprised when Gou started to walk in the direction he was pointing.

"Thank you, we'll go right away." Gou said, but was stopped when Seijuro called after them.

"Wait, why do you wanna know?" he cast a suspicious look at first Makoto then Haruka "You're not gonna beat him up are you?" He asked in a half-joking tone, and Makoto wondered how they really were perceived by others.

"Nothing like that Seijuro-san," Makoto said and shook her head, turning his attention to herself "we just wanted to talk with him. We came off the wrong foot last time we met him." though some of it were true the fact still remained that Rin had been the one in the wrong. At least that’s what Makoto felt like.

Reluctantly Seijuro nodded at them. “Alright, if you say so. Can you tell him to meet the team in about half an hour?”

“Of course. Thank you for your help.” Makoto said and nodded to him, before turning around and finding that Gou was already on her way down the hallway. She nudged at Haruka, who nodded as they both went off after her, trying to catch up.

They soon fell into step with Gou, who seemed determined to find Rin as quick as possible. Looking through open and closed doors they passed along the way. It almost seemed as if they were walking to a dead end, with Rin nowhere in sight, when Haruka suddenly stopped in front of an open door.

Makoto reacted quickly and stopped as well, when she saw what Haruka was looking at. On a bench inside an unused locker room, laid a figure. The light wasn’t on, but from the light from the hallway Makoto could make out the form and the color of the hair.

“Is he sleeping?” Makoto asked after a moment of silence. Looking at Rin he didn’t seem to have noticed them, and this would be a perfect opportunity to turn around, avoid a conflict or whatever would come out of their meeting. But Gou had already seen him, opening the door wider and turning on the light-switch before Haruka could answer her question.

Rin seemed to have indeed slept, because his eyes shot up at the sudden light in the room, sitting up and covering them.

“What the- who’s there?” he nearly growled, his voice raspy and Makoto wondered how long he had really slept. Rin turned his head towards the door and his eyes widened when he saw the three of them. He looked extremely tired, dark bangs under his eyes and his shocked expression turned to one of irritation.

“What do guys want?” he sighed and stood up from the bench, picking up his bag at the same time. Clearly he didn’t want to talk to them either, looking past them at the door. However, Gou was having none of it.

“I can’t believe you! After not seeing me for so long you bring back that attitude from our last meeting?” Gou had stepped forward and nearly yelled in Rin face, making him take a step back. Not that Makoto blamed him, his sister looked angrier than she had ever seen her.

“Look, Gou-” he started, but was interrupted.

“Don’t try to make excuses! I want an explanation, we all want an explanation to why you’ve been acting this way.” for being so tiny, she managed to block Rin’s way surprisingly well. For a moment the siblings just glared at each other, then Rin sighed in irritation.

“This is stupid, I don’t need to tell you anything.” Rin finally said and walked passed Gou. Only to stop when he realized that Makoto and Haruka was between him and the door.

“Rin.” Haruka said as Rin seemed unsure where he should go. “Please, just tell her.” he said, and Makoto looked between them both, now confused. Haruka almost seemed to know something, and when she looked at Rin he was staring at the floor.

“I can’t-” Rin said and Makoto was surprised when he looked at her, hesitation in his eyes.

“They know.” Makoto said nervously, thinking that maybe it did have something to do with her secret. Rin looked a little shocked, but quickly nodded nonetheless.

”Okay, if that’s the case...” he said and sounded defeated, as if there was no reason to hide it anymore. He turned around and walked over to one of the benches and sat down, and after a moment the three of them did the same.

“Australia was... not what I expected.” he started and Gou seemed shocked to hear that. Before she could ask about it though, he continued. “It started out fine, I was doing great at first. But I soon noticed that I couldn’t keep up with the others. I was falling behind in swimming.”

Haruka was nodding beside Makoto and she wondered with a twinge of jealousy if they had talked about this before without telling her. This was the first time she was hearing about this, but Haruka seemed familiar with the story.

“If that wasn’t enough, I was feeling extremely homesick. I kept thinking about mom, you guys... and especially you, Makoto.” he paused to look at Makoto and now she was more confused than ever. If anything she thought Haruka and Rin where closer than her and Rin. How would he else have known this?

“Me?” she asked and saw Gou wondering as well. Rin turned away his eyes, looking down at his feet as if they turned into the most interesting things in the room.

“I told you I knew about you since before I left Japan. I had a crush on you, I still kind of have.” he said as his cheeks turned a shade of red, and Makoto felt herself feeling embarrassed at that.

“Oh.” she could only reply. That was totally unexpected, and she didn’t know how to respond that it was a one-sided crush. “Still, it doesn’t explain why you’ve been acting so weird.” she said, opting to change the subject instead.

“Well, like I said, I wasn’t getting any better. When I came back I never expected you to still be keeping the secret. That all of you were still hanging together and nothing seemed to have changed, it made me frustrated. I felt as if you were stuck in time and that I was too, not being able to ever get better.” he was now looking at Haruka as well. “I was mad at all of you, but mostly myself. I took my anger out on all of you.” his eyes now rested on Gou, who had been quiet this whole time.

“I’m sorry.” he said quietly with a sigh.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Gou asked after a moment of silence, and Rin glanced towards Haruka.

”I told Haru the first part about Australia, in letters. I never told anyone about Makoto though, it wasn’t my place to do that.” he said, and when Makoto looked at Haruka with the silent question, he shook his head.

“As Rin put it, it wasn’t something I should tell you about.” Haruka said with a small apologetic smile.

”Look, I know it’s not an excuse for how I acted and I understand if you’re still angry at me.” Rin finally said and Makoto shook her head.

“I’m not angry at you.” she said, and both Gou and Haruka was agreeing with her. “I just wish you would tell us all sooner, instead of going around being angry at us for no reason. I understand that what’s done is done, but we’re still your friends. You can tell us everything.” she said with a smile, and Rin looked up at her and smiled as well.

“You should call and apologize to mom too, she’s worried about you.” Gou said, breaking the silence. “Before I forget though,” she said and leaned forward with her arms wrapped around her brother in an awkward hug. She soon pulled away “Seijuro-senpai said you needed to meet up with the team in thirty minutes, which was” she looked at the clock on the wall behind Makoto and Haruka “thirty-five or so minutes ago. We can talk more about this when you’ve had your race, okay?” Rin nearly bolted up from his seat when he heard the thing about Seijuro.

”Shit, I need to go.” he said, picking up his bag and running towards the door. Before he left he stopped in the doorway and turned to the trio. “We’re good right now? We can catch up more later.” Rin said and for the first time in a long time Makoto saw him grin like his old self. Both her and Haruka nodded in confirmation, then he was gone.

They all went back to the pool after that and Nagisa and Rei both started to ask them where they’ve been. Luckily Gou handled the talk and told them about Rin, leaving out the details of their talk. Before they even knew it, their own races were about to start and even though Haruka was the only one to get a medal in his race, which Rin had also participated in and won, they all was pleased with their results. The relay hadn’t been that successful either, but seeing both Nagisa and Rei grinning at not being in last place was enough to put a smile on everyone’s faces.

As promised, they all went to talk with Rin afterwards, and before they left for their train Makoto had told Rin that she didn’t feel the same, which he had understood. Overall, Makoto thought that the day had gone really well. She hadn’t gotten a medal herself, but knowing that she had gained a friend again was enough to make her happy.

* * *

  
The next time they had practice, two days after the competition, they had decided to not actually swim, but to clean the pool and locker room. For once no one complained about it. The competition had taken a lot of steam out of them and resting a bit between was just fine, at least for Makoto. She was the last one left by the time the sun was setting, having completely forgotten the time.

“Makoto, do you have a moment? I want to tell you something.” At least she had thought she was the last one. Makoto looked up when she heard Nagisa’s voice.

”What are you doing here? What about the train?” she asked him, but he only shook his head at her.

“Let me worry about the train. I’ve been cleaning the locker room. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.” he suddenly seemed nervous, but Makoto was waiting patiently for him to say what he wanted to. She fortunately didn’t have to wait for too long.

“I never realized that you were keeping such a big secret. It made my crush on Rei seem tiny in comparison.” he said and actually looked a little embarrassed. Slightly wondering where this was coming from, she waited for a moment, but when it seemed as if the younger one wouldn’t say anything, she felt the need to ask.

“Have you told him yet?” while it was none of her business, she was still curious as to what Nagisa had done. When he nodded at her with a small smile, she smiled in return.

“I did. He was shocked at first but he took it really well. He said he liked me too, just needed some time to get used to the idea. Well, that was yesterday, but he texted me this morning, saying he would love to go out with me.” He had a huge grin on his face and she was glad that they had worked it out somehow.

“Anyway, I hope you realize what we said is true. We don’t care about you being a boy or girl. You’re still the same person we’ve always liked.” Nagisa said and Makoto was surprised when he hugged her, her whole body leaning down to make up for the height difference. After a short time he pulled away and smiled at her. ”Now I must go, for real or I’ll really miss my train. But I’ll see you at practice next week, so don’t be late.” he said as he walked away.

For a while Makoto just stood there, not sure what to do now when she was alone at the side of the pool. She should really go home, since she was done cleaning. Before she could even think about putting away the net, she heard footsteps behind her. When she turned around she saw Haruka and Gou walk towards her, both of them smiling at her.

“You’re going home, Makoto?” Haruka asked her and she nodded at him. “We’ll go with you. I promised we’d walk Gou home.”

“That’s not necessary, but it could be fun to have company for once.” Gou said as she shrugged.

”It’s no problem, Haru and I walk that way everyday.” Makoto said, wondering why Gou hadn’t walked with them before. At that Gou didn’t say anything, but Makoto thought that she looked a shade redder, but didn’t comment on it.

They all helped out with putting away the cleaning equipment and pulling the cover over the pool, before they walked out of the club, Gou locking all the doors on the way out.

They both walked on either side of Makoto, and for a few hundred meters no one said a word. Gou was each step seeming to come closer to her side, and Makoto found that she didn’t mind that at all. When their hands accidentally brushed against each others, neither of them pulled back.

Haruka was surprisingly enough the first one to break the silence, gaining both Gou and Makoto’s attention.

“You have decided what you want to do yet?” Haruka asked and Makoto pondered the question for a bit before shrugging her shoulders. What did she want to do? She had never really felt like a girl, or at the very least, not as comfortable as a boy.

“Well, I’ll just keep on being me. Because ‘As long as you are happy and in one piece, it doesn’t matter’ -right Haru? And just being myself makes me happy.” she said and couldn’t help the smile that blossomed in her face.

“I think that sounds pretty nice.” Gou said and Haruka nodded beside her. She felt Gou’s hand hesitatingly take a hold of her own, and she blushed as she squeezed it in return.

Being herself and being surrounded by her friends, that’s what made her the happiest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo! Long overdue, but I am finally finished with this story. It started out as a simple idea that grew out of my control, then life happened and I lost motivation for the story as well as the fandom, but I promised I would finish it and I hope I tied it up nice with no loose ends and that you feel a closure from the ending. Thank you all for following my first ever multichaptered story and that you have enjoyed the story :) Thank you all for the lovely comments, keeping me inspired and wanting to finish the story.


End file.
